IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that history has nothing or little to tell us, but others believe that studying the past history can help us better understand the present. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

While
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 it is true that studying
History
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 can be full of ambiguity and take a long
time
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, it is not clear whether
It
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it
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 would benefit us or not. There has been a consensus among
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a numbers
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numbers
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number
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 of the public that studying
History
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 would be highly beneficial.
In contrast
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, some other groups of people uphold the opposite idea because of some drawbacks that it can bring with itself,
for example
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, it can stop society from adapting to new circumstances. The legitimacy of both of these points of view is crystal clear to me
,
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.
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Nonetheless
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, I think studying
History
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 can be a huge boon to humankind. One key benefit of reading about
past
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the past
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time
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apply
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is not repeating the same mistakes. As
humans
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humans,
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 we have changed a lot during our evolution, but not enough to neglect our
time
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 entirely. Whether we like it or not
we
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, we
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 are mortal and we are highly susceptible to repeating many mistakes
due to
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 lack of experience
, in
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. In
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 order to stand on the shoulders of
giants
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giants,
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 we need to read
history
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. One tangible example is the
history
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 of our antecedent failures in science, and by reading some limited
papers
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papers,
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 we can save a lot of
time
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.
On the other hand
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, the major drawback of relying too much on
history
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 might lead communities to lose their future. As one delves into
history
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, sometimes they would resist new solutions and try to use old findings in new situations. As I personally witnessed, some people in Saudi Arabia did not brush their teeth with regular brushes and they used some kind of special brush dated back to the first years of the Shamsi calendar, which they claim the Prophet
Of
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of
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 Islam Mohammad used back
then
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. Despite all the negative points, it is clear why many people strive to read
history
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. By offering insight and knowledge to them, negative points depend on the humans' choice
and
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, and
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 we can simply choose differently.

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task response
State both views clearly and add a strong, simple link to your own view. Add one clear main point for each side and explain why it matters now.
structure
Use shorter and clearer sentences. Start each paragraph with a quick topic line to tell the reader what comes next.
introduction conclusion
Make a short plan at the start: 2 sentences that say what you will talk about in the essay.
evidence
Choose examples that are easy to show and fit the task. Do not use facts that are not sure or sing too much about old customs.
grammar
Fix grammar and spelling basics. Watch for cap letters, plural, and prepositions.
tone
Keep a calm tone and stay away from strong or wrong facts about religion or culture.
content
You show two sides and a clear view of your own.
structure
The essay has a clear order from start to end (intro, body, and conclusion).
content
You offer ideas about how history can help us in the present.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • insights
  • progression
  • values
  • beliefs
  • heritage
  • identity
  • applicable
  • biased
  • subjective
  • practical
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