Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
It can be seen that a remarkable number of kids are spending
a huge times
, Correct the article-noun agreement
huge times
a huge time
may be
more than Correct your spelling
maybe
couple
of hours on their Correct article usage
a couple
smartphones
. There are many reasons behind this
situation. There are some positive developments though but the negative improvement overweight the positive side.
Firstly
, this
era is the era of technology. mobilephones
are needed for different works even for Correct your spelling
Mobile phones
the
Children. They have to study or attend online lectures using Correct article usage
apply
this
gadget. Besides
, some children play various games which are responsible to increase
their Change preposition
for increasing
connetivity
, concentration, multi-tasking capacity etc. It is very hard to be a smart child Correct your spelling
connectivity
staying
away from Wrong verb form
and stay
the
Correct article usage
apply
smartphones
and the technologies related to It
.
Correct pronoun usage
Them
On the other hand
, excessive usage of mobilephones
causes attention deficiencies, obesity, lack of creativity, Correct your spelling
mobile phones
intollerance
etc. It provides a great opportunity to be spoilt using different unwanted Correct your spelling
intolerance
application
and games. Take Bangladesh as an example, here - several murder cases have been filed connected Fix the agreement mistake
applications
with
mobile phones. All the criminals and victims are underaged. Change preposition
to
In addition
, the
teenagers are Correct article usage
apply
involving themselves
in different crimes to earn money as they can invest Wrong verb form
involved
that
in mobile games to upgrade their levels. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Smartphones
are obviously very important for study nowadays but the
usage should be under Change the word
their
the
control always. Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, If the parents do not.take proper action It will be barking up to a wrong tree later.
In conclusion, from the outset I am inclined
to say that the usage of smartphones
causes positive development but the real scenario is showing as something else that is
provoking us to confess that using smart cellphones for children several hours a day should be restricted or examined by the parents.Submitted by ashiqbillah99 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly states your position on whether the excessive smartphone usage is a positive or negative development.
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Expand on your main points and provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
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Use a wider range of vocabulary and vary your sentence structures to enhance your lexical resource score.
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
