Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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It can be seen that a remarkable number of kids are spending
a huge times
Correct the article-noun agreement
huge times
a huge time
show examples
,
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
more than
couple
Correct article usage
a couple
show examples
of hours on their
smartphones
. There are many reasons behind
this
situation. There are some positive developments though but the negative improvement overweight the positive side.
Firstly
,
this
era is the era of technology.
mobilephones
Correct your spelling
Mobile phones
are needed for different works even for
the
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apply
show examples
Children. They have to study or attend online lectures using
this
gadget.
Besides
, some children play various games which are responsible
to increase
Change preposition
for increasing
show examples
their
connetivity
Correct your spelling
connectivity
, concentration, multi-tasking capacity etc. It is very hard to be a smart child
staying
Wrong verb form
and stay
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away from
the
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apply
show examples
smartphones
and the technologies related to
It
Correct pronoun usage
Them
show examples
.
On the other hand
, excessive usage of
mobilephones
Correct your spelling
mobile phones
causes attention deficiencies, obesity, lack of creativity,
intollerance
Correct your spelling
intolerance
etc. It provides a great opportunity to be spoilt using different unwanted
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
show examples
and games. Take Bangladesh as an example, here - several murder cases have been filed connected
with
Change preposition
to
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mobile phones. All the criminals and victims are underaged.
In addition
,
the
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apply
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teenagers are
involving themselves
Wrong verb form
involved
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in different crimes to earn money as they can invest
that
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apply
show examples
in mobile games to upgrade their levels.
Smartphones
are obviously very important for study nowadays but
the
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their
show examples
usage should be under
the
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apply
show examples
control always.
Moreover
, If the parents do not.take proper action It will be barking up to a wrong tree later. In conclusion, from the outset I am inclined to say that the usage of
smartphones
causes positive development but the real scenario is showing as something else
that is
provoking us to confess that using smart cellphones for children several hours a day should be restricted or examined by the parents.
Submitted by ashiqbillah99 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly states your position on whether the excessive smartphone usage is a positive or negative development.
task achievement
Expand on your main points and provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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