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Writing Samples
Band 6

Write your personal statement. Is there a problem.

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We
also
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 live in a society where relationships are delicate between
parents
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 and teachers.
Parents
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 expect higher quality
education
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 and
that is
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 their right.
However
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, in
Korea
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, there is a major issue in which
parents
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 make consistent demands and claim false reports.
This
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 year, one teacher was reported for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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child abuse because she used a lion character picture for the class.
This
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 caused her to suicide.
This
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 was not a one-off case, there were many suicides
due to
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 the overwhelming demands from
parents
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. As educators, we have to suffer as the laws do not protect educators from these situations. In fact, I was almost stabbed by a student
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 had an anger disorder.
However
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, I couldn’t do anything
due to
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 the fear of losing my job if I touched the student.
It is clear that
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 new policies will need to be adopted and I wish to help write them. I would like to study the Masters of Comparative
Education
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 at University College London as it brings together a diverse community of researchers who have a common interest in exploring
education
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. Within the program, my goal is to research and determine which
education
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 policies
Korea
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 should borrow and leverage. I would like to study under Professor Caine Rolleston, as I want to analyse the
education
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 system of
Korea
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 by mixing quantitative and qualitative methods. Similar to the “positive deviance” case observed in Vietnam within his research, I want to achieve similar outcomes in
Korea
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. In the future, I wish to make an impact with the knowledge and skills I obtain from the
Masters
Change to a genitive case
Master's
Masters'
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education
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 at UCL. I would love to work in the Republic of Uganda by being selected for the ‘Korean government-sponsored Volunteer Teachers Program’. My long-term goal is to be dispatched to the “Jeonnam
Education
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 Policy Research Institute” or a similar institute in the world. I want to listen to various opinions from experts,
monitor
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and monitor
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 policy, and I would like to propose field-oriented
education
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 policies using my expertise in Comparative
Education
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. By obtaining an
education
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 at UCL, I hope to make impactful recommendations that will help alleviate some of the challenges faced by
parents
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, educators, and governments alike and address
education
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 inequality and rights.
Submitted by soyuyu9 on

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task response
Make sure to address all parts of the prompt and clearly convey your main ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout your essay.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your writing.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • bilingual
  • multilingual
  • fluency
  • communicate
  • cognitive skills
  • cultural awareness
  • opportunities
  • globalized world
  • job market
  • interact
  • linguistic abilities
  • cultural exchange
  • language proficiency
  • language barrier
  • foreign travel
  • personal growth
  • academic achievement
  • self-confidence
  • enhance
  • cross-cultural communication
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