Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #governments #ban #sports #freedom #activity

Risky

sports

need to be forbidden by

governments

according to

some societies;

however

, opponents say

people

should have flexibility in terms of choosing their

activities

Although

dangerous

sports

can hurt many athletes, many

people

choose those kinds of

activities

to release their emotions. In my opinion, despite the uncertain impact of dangerous

sports

, there are

people

who need to play those games. First of all, many

sports

can be categorized as dangerous

sports

, two of the examples are boxing and bungee jumping. Some research shows that many players can be hurt by playing those

sports

For example

, there are some numbers of boxing players who have internal injuries in their body and many of them died at a young age.

Therefore

governments

need to ban those harmful

activities

On the other hand

, adrenaline

sports

are needed to emit stress from the human brain. Many health practitioners say it can balance one's energy so they can have a healthier life.

For instance

, bungee jumping is used by

people

to scream in order to let out their feelings.

Thus

governments

should not stop

sports

this

criterion. In conclusion,

while

some

people

encourage

governments

to ban dangerous

sports

, many

people

also

think that it is their right to choose what they want to play in their time. In spite of the bad impacts, those

activities

are useful to some

people

. I suppose that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

governments

should not restrict dangerous

sports

;

nevertheless

, they can make regulations to control it so the risk can be minimized.

Submitted by idn20221109 on Wed Nov 01 2023

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task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay flows smoothly from one point to another.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of words and phrases.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

severe injuries
fatalities
base jumping
bull running
extreme skiing
safeguard
well-being
regulating
avoidable harm
healthcare costs
burdening
personal freedom
autonomy
training
equipment
mitigated
personal satisfaction
mental health benefits
resilience
adventure
assess risks
public safety
unnecessary healthcare costs
outright bans
balanced approach
stringent safety standards
mandatory training sessions
adequately informed
safeguarding
public health

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