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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Risky
sports
Use synonyms
 need to be forbidden by
governments
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
 some societies;
however
Linking Words
, opponents say
people
Use synonyms
 should have flexibility in terms of choosing their
activities
Use synonyms
.
Although
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 dangerous
sports
Use synonyms
 can hurt many athletes, many
people
Use synonyms
 choose those kinds of
activities
Use synonyms
 to release their emotions. In my opinion, despite the uncertain impact of dangerous
sports
Use synonyms
, there are
people
Use synonyms
 who need to play those games. First of all, many
sports
Use synonyms
 can be categorized as dangerous
sports
Use synonyms
, two of the examples are boxing and bungee jumping. Some research shows that many players can be hurt by playing those
sports
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.
For example
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, there are some numbers of boxing players who have internal injuries in their body and many of them died at a young age.
Therefore
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,
governments
Use synonyms
 need to ban those harmful
activities
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, adrenaline
sports
Use synonyms
 are needed to emit stress from the human brain. Many health practitioners say it can balance one's energy so they can have a healthier life.
For instance
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, bungee jumping is used by
people
Use synonyms
 to scream in order to let out their feelings.
Thus
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,
governments
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 should not stop
sports
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 criterion. In conclusion,
while
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 some
people
Use synonyms
 encourage
governments
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 to ban dangerous
sports
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, many
people
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also
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 think that it is their right to choose what they want to play in their time. In spite of the bad impacts, those
activities
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 are useful to some
people
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. I suppose that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments
Use synonyms
 should not restrict dangerous
sports
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;
nevertheless
Linking Words
, they can make regulations to control it so the risk can be minimized.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay flows smoothly from one point to another.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of words and phrases.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • severe injuries
  • fatalities
  • base jumping
  • bull running
  • extreme skiing
  • safeguard
  • well-being
  • regulating
  • avoidable harm
  • healthcare costs
  • burdening
  • personal freedom
  • autonomy
  • training
  • equipment
  • mitigated
  • personal satisfaction
  • mental health benefits
  • resilience
  • adventure
  • assess risks
  • public safety
  • unnecessary healthcare costs
  • outright bans
  • balanced approach
  • stringent safety standards
  • mandatory training sessions
  • adequately informed
  • safeguarding
  • public health
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