Some people say that the main environmental problem our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In the perception of certain individuals,
extinction
of specific Correct article usage
the extinction
species
of plants
and animals is the major environmental challenges
Fix the agreement mistake
challenge
currently
. Others assert that there are more significant environmental issues. Rephrase
apply
This
essay agrees with the former view point
because some Correct your spelling
viewpoint
plants
and animal species
play a key role in maintaining a balanced ecosystem
, however
both views will be discussed.
On the one hand, Add a comma
however,
air
pollution is an existing factor which endangers our environment. Emmissions
from industries, vehicles and other human activities Correct your spelling
Emissions
such
as smoking cigarettes lead to poor air
quality, where as
when inhaled causes respiratory diseases Correct your spelling
whereas
however
, I believe air
pollution is not the most serious environmental problem we are facing today since measures are already being put in place by the government to curb it.
Conversely
Add a comma
Conversely,
on the other hand
, loss
of Correct article usage
the loss
plants
and Fix the agreement mistake
plant
animals
Change the noun form
animal
species
lead
to a disruption in the Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
ecosystem
. This
can affect food webs, ecological relationships and the functioning of the ecosystems. Furthermore
, this
disruption can affect the availability of resources and vital services provided by the ecosystem
. For
instance
if lions become extinct, the Add a comma
instance,
species
it used to prey on such
as deers become over abundance
and leads to overgrazing, which may alter the the balance of the earth's Correct your spelling
overabundant
ecosystem
. Humans depend on a well balanced
Add a hyphen
well-balanced
ecosystem
to provide them with necessary resources like clean air
, fresh water and medicine, therefore
I think protection
of Correct article usage
the protection
plants
and animal species
should be an utmost priority.
In conclusion, even though air
pollution affects our environment, I think protecting plants
and animal species
should be given more attention since it significantly destroys the balance of the ecosystem
.Submitted by glorialatebu630 on
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task response
Your essay provides a complete response to the task. You have discussed both views and given your own opinion. Well done!
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is clear. You have introduced the two views, provided supporting arguments for each, and then concluded with your own opinion. However, you could improve the clarity of your main points by organizing them into separate paragraphs.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is generally effective. However, you could add more variety and depth to your vocabulary by using more specific and precise words and phrases. For example, instead of saying 'some plants and animal species,' you could use 'endangered species' or 'threatened ecosystems.'
grammatical range
Your grammar usage is generally accurate, but there are a few minor errors throughout the essay. Remember to pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and the use of articles. Review your essay carefully to identify and correct these errors.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.