Some people say that the main environmental problem our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In the perception of certain individuals,
extinction
Correct article usage
the extinction
show examples
of specific
species
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of
plants
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and animals is the major environmental
challenges
Fix the agreement mistake
challenge
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currently
Rephrase
apply
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. Others assert that there are more significant environmental issues.
This
Linking Words
essay agrees with the former
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
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because some
plants
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and animal
species
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play a key role in maintaining a balanced
ecosystem
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,
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however
Add a comma
however,
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both views will be discussed. On the one hand,
air
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pollution is an existing factor which endangers our environment.
Emmissions
Correct your spelling
Emissions
from industries, vehicles and other human activities
such
Linking Words
as smoking cigarettes lead to poor
air
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quality,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
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when inhaled causes respiratory diseases
however
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, I believe
air
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pollution is not the most serious environmental problem we are facing today since measures are already being put in place by the government to curb it.
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Conversely
Add a comma
Conversely,
show examples
on the other hand
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,
loss
Correct article usage
the loss
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of
Use synonyms
plants
Fix the agreement mistake
plant
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and
animals
Change the noun form
animal
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species
Use synonyms
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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to a disruption in the
ecosystem
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.
This
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can affect food webs, ecological relationships and the functioning of the ecosystems.
Furthermore
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,
this
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disruption can affect the availability of resources and vital services provided by the
ecosystem
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.
For
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instance
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instance,
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if lions become extinct, the
species
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it used to prey on
such
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as deers become
over abundance
Correct your spelling
overabundant
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and leads to overgrazing, which may alter the the balance of the earth's
ecosystem
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. Humans depend on a
well balanced
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well-balanced
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ecosystem
Use synonyms
to provide them with necessary resources like clean
air
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, fresh water and medicine,
therefore
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I think
protection
Correct article usage
the protection
show examples
of
plants
Use synonyms
and animal
species
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should be an utmost priority. In conclusion, even though
air
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pollution affects our environment, I think protecting
plants
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and animal
species
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should be given more attention since it significantly destroys the balance of the
ecosystem
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by glorialatebu630 on

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task response
Your essay provides a complete response to the task. You have discussed both views and given your own opinion. Well done!
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is clear. You have introduced the two views, provided supporting arguments for each, and then concluded with your own opinion. However, you could improve the clarity of your main points by organizing them into separate paragraphs.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is generally effective. However, you could add more variety and depth to your vocabulary by using more specific and precise words and phrases. For example, instead of saying 'some plants and animal species,' you could use 'endangered species' or 'threatened ecosystems.'
grammatical range
Your grammar usage is generally accurate, but there are a few minor errors throughout the essay. Remember to pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and the use of articles. Review your essay carefully to identify and correct these errors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
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