Parents should encourage their children to spend less time on studying and more time on physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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this

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day and age, how youngster should allocate their spare time is a controversial topic that often divides opinion. Generally, many people advocate that children should focus more on physical training rather than learning solely. From my perspective, I completely agree with

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belief. The essay below will provide reasons and examples for my support.

Firstly

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, it is worth considering that

health

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issues can tremendously affect one's well-being. Particularly, kids nowadays are facing higher risks of getting lung cancer or pneumonia

due to

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their constant exposure to vapes or e-cigarettes.

This

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results from their need to break the autonomy of life and seek alternatives to relieve stress after studying.

In other words

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, the more workload they receive in school, the more frequently they use harmful entertainment to relax.

Therefore

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, it is wiser for parents not to force their kids to study all the time.

Secondly

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, exercising is a great means of improving one's physical and mental

health

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. It means that when we go out and interact with other people more often, we not only improve our interpersonal skills but

also

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empower us with a stronger sense of community.

For instance

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, rather than staying inside and being couch potatoes which might result in laziness, procrastination and obesity, young children should go out to establish new connections or enjoy more outdoor activities in order to practise cooperative skills. Research has found that millennials enjoy more outside entertainment often have better social capabilities and are easier to succeed later in society.

Therefore

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while

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information literacy is indeed crucial, it is undeniable that having interactive skills and good

health

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contributes greatly to a child's potential accomplishments.

To sum up

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, the benefits of doing physical training, including minimizing

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problems and developing essential abilities, are far-reaching and extensive. For these reasons, it is understandable that many parents are encouraged to become less strict about their children's learning;

instead

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, supporting their kids to register for a gym membership or frequently visit sports amenities is highly recommended. I strongly agree with

such

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advice.

phamngoclannhu.97Thu Nov 02 2023

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task response

Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction.

coherence cohesion

Ensure smooth transition between paragraphs and use cohesive devices to connect ideas.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary and use more varied phrases and expressions.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors and improve accuracy.

12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

337 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Physical activity
Development
Concentration
Obesity
Burnout
Sedentary lifestyle
Healthy lifestyle
Intellectual development
Structured activities
Teamwork
Leadership
Sedentary behavior
Tech addiction
Role models
Family bonds

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