The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 203 and 2013.

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 203 and 2013.
The bar graph
present
Change the verb form
presents
show examples
the frequency percentages of American
people
eating in fast
food
places in 3 interval years: 2003, 2006, and 2013.
Overall
, it is obvious that there are
people
who habitually have it
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and those who never experience any fast
food
. It is noticeable that American
people
choose to have fast
food
less frequently.
However
, fast
food
seem
Change the verb form
seems
show examples
to be a staple
food
among most Americans. From 2003 to 2013, there was approximately 5 per
cent
of
people
who had it
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
and those who never had
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
before. The percentage of those having
this
food
many times per week fluctuated, starting at over 15 per
cent
in 2003 to 20 per
cent
in 2006, and coming down to nearly 15 per
cent
again in 2013. For those who went to the restaurant to have fast
food
once a week, the percentage was at a little over 30 per
cent
in 2003 and rose to nearly 35 per
cent
in 2006, but it dropped to around 27 per
cent
in 2013.
This
also
fluctuated in
people
having fast
food
a few times per month, accounting for 30 to 25 and nearly 35 per
cent
between 2003 and 2016. There was
also
around 15
peer
Correct your spelling
per
show examples
cent
of American
people
Correct pronoun usage
who chose
show examples
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
to eat fast
food
a few times a year. In
clusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, it seems that the fast
food
trend among Americans would be declining as more percentages appeared in those having less frequency of fast
food
.
Submitted by dondollaraus on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, food, cent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fast food consumption
  • Frequency
  • Dining trends
  • Demographic factors
  • Peak periods
  • Downward/upward trend
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Nutritional awareness
  • Economic impact
  • Health implications
  • Convenience foods
  • Eating habits
  • Statistical evidence
  • Year-over-year comparison
  • Fluctuation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: