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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 203 and 2013.

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 203 and 2013.
#people #usa #food #restaurants
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The bar graph
present
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presents
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 the frequency percentages of American
people
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 eating in fast
food
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 places in 3 interval years: 2003, 2006, and 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is obvious that there are
people
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 who habitually have it
,
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apply
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 and those who never experience any fast
food
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. It is noticeable that American
people
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 choose to have fast
food
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 less frequently.
However
Linking Words
, fast
food
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seem
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seems
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 to be a staple
food
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 among most Americans. From 2003 to 2013, there was approximately 5 per
cent
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 of
people
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 who had it
everyday
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every day
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 and those who never had
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fast
food
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 before. The percentage of those having
this
Linking Words
food
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 many times per week fluctuated, starting at over 15 per
cent
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 in 2003 to 20 per
cent
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 in 2006, and coming down to nearly 15 per
cent
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 again in 2013. For those who went to the restaurant to have fast
food
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 once a week, the percentage was at a little over 30 per
cent
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 in 2003 and rose to nearly 35 per
cent
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 in 2006, but it dropped to around 27 per
cent
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 in 2013.
This
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 fluctuated in
people
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 having fast
food
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 a few times per month, accounting for 30 to 25 and nearly 35 per
cent
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 between 2003 and 2016. There was
also
Linking Words
 around 15
peer
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per
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cent
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 of American
people
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Correct pronoun usage
who chose
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chose
Wrong verb form
choose
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 to eat fast
food
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 a few times a year. In
clusion
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conclusion
, it seems that the fast
food
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 trend among Americans would be declining as more percentages appeared in those having less frequency of fast
food
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.
Submitted by dondollaraus on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, food, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fast food consumption
  • Frequency
  • Dining trends
  • Demographic factors
  • Peak periods
  • Downward/upward trend
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Nutritional awareness
  • Economic impact
  • Health implications
  • Convenience foods
  • Eating habits
  • Statistical evidence
  • Year-over-year comparison
  • Fluctuation
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