The graph below shows the consumption of 3 spreads from 1981 to 2007.

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The graph illustrates the consumption rate of three different types of spreads, based on gram, during a 26-year interval. In general,

It is clear that

Linking Words

the tendency to expenditure

margarine

Use synonyms

and butter as

oil

Use synonyms

significantly has declined.

While

Linking Words

, since 1198 usage of low fat and reduced spreads has surged among people. Focusing on butter and

margarine

Use synonyms

usage, in 1981 butter with management of more than 140

grams

Use synonyms

was the most popular

oil

Use synonyms

, which was around 60

grams

Use synonyms

more than

margarine

Use synonyms

consumption in the same year, after which it started to boost to a peak of approximately 160

grams

Use synonyms

in 1987.

subsequently

Linking Words

, it experienced a sudden and noticeable decrease up to 2007. Regarding the figures for

margarine

Use synonyms

utilization, it’s fluctuation from 1981 to 1997 followed by a plummet to 2007, when it eventually dropped to 40

grams

Use synonyms

. concentrating on low fat and reduced spreads, these kinds of

oil

Use synonyms

started to be used just from 1997, and

then

Linking Words

it soared to more than 80

grams

Use synonyms

, which was the most amount of its consumption throughout the period and the same as

margarine

Use synonyms

usage in that year.

After

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

high spot, it shrunk to nearly 70

grams

Use synonyms

as the most in-demand

oil

Use synonyms

in 2007.

Submitted by n97.mortazian on Thu Nov 02 2023

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Contractions: Don't use contractions.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words margarine, oil, grams with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.

▼

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

200 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

consumption
spreads
increased
decreased
stable
significantly
approximately
per capita
remarkable
peaked
experienced
started
remained

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The graph below shows the consumption of 3 spreads from 1981 to 2007.

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An increasing number of professionals such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

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The English language is used as a global language in most countries in the world. Do you think the advantages of using English as a global language outweigh the disadvantages?