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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Should the government support artists, such as musicians, writers, and painters? Is it economically benefical or is it just a waste of money? Why or why not?

#government #support #artists #musicians #writers #painters #waste #money
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Is it sensible for the power to fund troupes, including musicians, writers, and painters? Is it an economically sound decision or would it be a waste of money? In my opinion, a supporting list will surely contribute to a rise in the economic curve.
This
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 essay will discuss the benefits of supporting artists.
In addition
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, art has become a popular source of entertainment in many countries in recent days, especially in music, acting and content creators, the impacts of which can be observed not only in the economy but various other areas of society. There are several advantages for the government which support the public figure.
Firstly
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, the public figure has become famous it can be made an impact on the state and provide financial income.
For instance
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, Korean music and singers have an international fan base, the positive outcomes of which are not only restricted to the music industry in Korea but
also
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 play a vital role in economic and cultural outspread.
Moreover
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, we can observe the film industry in countries like India has always been an integral part of society with some of its best pieces in educating people and bringing out the voices of minority sections.
On the other hand
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, responsibility can bring assurance to all areas of society, the art field
in particular
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, as it generates the most economically precarious jobs. To encourage people to pursue art as it can result in desirable financial gains, incentives
such
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 as minimum wages or accessible venues for the list to display their artwork could be beneficial. In conclusion, the benefit of supporting public figures
such
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 as troupes, musicians, writers, and painters should have an impact on the economy of a government.
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

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task response
Ensure that the essay adequately addresses all parts of the prompt. Develop the arguments for economic benefits and provide counterarguments to address the potential waste of money aspect.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that there is clear logical progression and coherence between sentences and paragraphs. Use appropriate transition words and phrases to enhance the overall coherence.
lexical resource
Diversify your vocabulary and try to use more advanced and specific language. Aim for a wider range of vocabulary to elevate the quality of your essay.
grammatical range
Review your grammar usage and make sure to avoid repetitive sentence structures. Aim for more varied and complex sentence structures to showcase a wider grammatical range.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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