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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram shows a process of making a storage area from a material called concrete canvas Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram shows a process of making a storage area from a material called concrete canvas Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The diagram explains the way in which storage
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 are created from
the
Remove the article
apply
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some special material concrete
canvas
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the process
consist
Change the verb form
consists
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 of eight stages, beginning with the manufacturing and ending up with the
Use synonyms
products
Fix the agreement mistake
product
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storing
Replace the word
storage
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. First of all, fibrous surface, dry concrete and waterproof layer
collected
Add a missing verb
are collected
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 to serve as concrete
canvas
Use synonyms
 and
bring
Wrong verb form
brought
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 together for manufacturing. After that,
products
Use synonyms
 are
putting
Wrong verb form
put
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 into the truck and ready for
delivering
Replace the word
delivery
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. At the next stage, the materials arrived
to
Change preposition
at
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 a place and
dropped
Add a missing verb
were dropped
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.
Lastly
Linking Words
, wrapped
products
Use synonyms
 opened it up from cargo. In the next stage,
result
Add an article
the result
a result
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 of the journey of materials spread on the ground using
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pegs which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 10 meters long.
While
Linking Words
 doing
this
Linking Words
 rope is used from a truck.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
canvas
Use synonyms
 connected to a door and
then
Linking Words
Correct article usage
an airpump
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airpump
Correct your spelling
air pump
 gave the air to make it
bigger
Add an article
a bigger
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 size.
Subsequently
Linking Words
,
canvas
Use synonyms
 material
watered
Add a missing verb
was watered
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 with the eight meters long door completed. After that, the stage
of
Change preposition
apply
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setting took 20-24 hours.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
products
Use synonyms
 are ready
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 storage in the concrete
canvas
Use synonyms
.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words canvas, products with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • diagram
  • process
  • storage area
  • material
  • concrete canvas
  • prepare
  • level
  • compact
  • lay
  • wet
  • activate
  • cement
  • hydrate
  • harden
  • form
  • solid structure
  • edges
  • secure
  • infiltration
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