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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some peole believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#peole #culture #tourism #revenue
Some
says
Correct subject-verb agreement
say
show examples
 that the profit
gain
Wrong verb form
gained
show examples
 from
tourism
 will cause
culture
dried
Change the verb form
to dry
show examples
 out
while
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
others believe it is the only way to keep the
culture
.
This
 essay argues that
although
 visitors may
causes
Verb problem
have
show examples
 some impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
culture
, their spending during
journey
Add an article
the journey
a journey
show examples
 in fact could
helping
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
 the
culture
keep
Verb problem
remain
show examples
 alive and
sustain
Wrong verb form
sustained
show examples
.
Tourism
 can have a big contribution to the
econmy
Correct your spelling
economy
 of a place,
hence
, people would
customerize
Correct your spelling
customize
 or change their
culture
 in order to favour the travellers.
Therefore
, some people
claims
Change the verb form
claim
show examples
this
 would cause the death of a
culture
.
For example
, the Great Wall in China, which was an
importance
Replace the word
important
show examples
mailiary
Correct your spelling
military
 location in the past,
setup
Correct your spelling
set up
show examples
 a lot of retail stores nowadays for
soviour
Correct your spelling
saviour
 selling.
Touris
Correct your spelling
Tourists
 and travel agencies may consider
this
 place as a shopping area rather than a place of
sight seeing
Correct your spelling
sightseeing
show examples
.
This
 may be treated as a
ruine
Correct your spelling
ruin
 of the
culture
.
However
, it is not an easy task to protect the
culture
, money usually is an
importance
Replace the word
important
show examples
 concern.
Therefore
, developing
tourism
, on
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand,
promoting
Wrong verb form
promotes
show examples
 the
culture
 to the public,
on the other hand
, keeping the
souce
Correct your spelling
source
 of income for spending, like maintenance. Taking reference to the Forbidden
City
 of China, it generates
million
Fix the agreement mistake
millions
show examples
Change preposition
of profit
show examples
profit
Fix the agreement mistake
profits
show examples
 every year from foreign visitors,
thus
, the Forbidden
City
 can remain
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good condition for its buildings. The Forbidden
City
also
continuous
Change the word
continuously
show examples
 enrich their tourist experience
under
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the support of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourisum
Correct your spelling
tourism
 income, including the travelling guide or virtual visual
experiening
Correct your spelling
experience
, to
attrack
Correct your spelling
attract
 more people to come. All these
tourism
 activities are not killing the
culture
 of Forbidden
City
 but
expending
Correct your spelling
expanding
show examples
 its
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
 life. To
concluse
Correct your spelling
conclude
, whether
tourisium
Correct your spelling
tourism
causing
Wrong verb form
causes
show examples
 a
culture
die
Add the particle
to die
show examples
 or not is not about
there
Correct pronoun usage
what there
show examples
 is visiting but more
importance
Replace the word
important
show examples
 is how to promote or even
rehabiliating
Correct your spelling
rehabilitating
 the
culture
 to keep its energy and unique value.
Submitted by sangelamami on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument.
lexical resource
Use more varied vocabulary and avoid repetition of key words.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar errors.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ruin
  • preserve
  • promote
  • financial support
  • exploitation
  • commodification
  • authenticity
  • balance
  • crucial
What to do next:
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