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Band 3.5

An increasing number of people are buying whta they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping online?

#people #whta #individuals #companies
Nowadays, in the modern
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
 it can be seen the tendency of
increasing
Correct article usage
an increasing
show examples
 quantity of
people
 who prefer to
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
do shopping online.
This
 development has a lot of advantages.,
such
 as simplifying
process
Add an article
the process
show examples
 of buying items,
Correct word choice
and extendent
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extendent
Correct your spelling
extended
extending
researching
Replace the word
research
show examples
.
However
, It
also
 creates some inconveniences with quality estimating for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
customers.
The first
Correct article usage
First
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 and foremost,
this
 innovation of typical action, makes
lives
Correct article usage
the lives
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 of a
millons
Correct your spelling
million
people
 easier. When
people
 tried to find
specitic
Correct your spelling
specific
 items, they had to go
trough
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
 a crazy amount of stores to
tind
Correct your spelling
find
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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, but now
this
 problem of time
waisting
Correct your spelling
wasting
show examples
 is solved by online shopping.
For example
, an
avarage
Correct your spelling
average
 woman in a big city has an
apportunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
so
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to
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 order everything
what
Change the word
that
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 she needs without any
probem
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problem
 with
logistic
Fix the agreement mistake
logistics
show examples
 and traffic jams.
On the other hand
,
this
 kind of buying
are
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is
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 closing one important thing for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
costumers
a costumer
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costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
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 - estimating
real
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the real
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qualit
Correct your spelling
quality
 of items.
This
 is a crucial problem of online shopping.
People
 try to get
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
perfect clothes, products and medicines ,
however
Add a comma
however,
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 they
are not always have
Change the verb form
do not always have
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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good quality and
right
Correct article usage
the right
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 size,
as a result
,
Correct pronoun usage
they disappointing
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disappointing
Wrong verb form
disappoint
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 customers
with
Change preposition
by
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 wasting money and time for
a waiting purchases
Correct the article-noun agreement
waiting purchases
a waiting purchase
show examples
. In conclusion,
not
Correct article usage
a not
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 conservative way of shopping changed
people
’s routine with a plethora of advantages and a
little
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
bit
Correct your spelling
few
show examples
 problems with realization .
Submitted by aisha.alen99 on

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task response
Make sure to fully address all aspects of the prompt in your response. Consider discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping for individuals and companies.
coherence cohesion
The essay shows some organization in the presentation of ideas, but there could be more clarity and coherence in the logical flow of information. Consider using transition words and phrases to connect your ideas more effectively.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary range by using a wider variety of words and expressions. This will help you to convey your ideas more precisely and effectively.
grammatical range
Work on your sentence structure and grammar to ensure greater accuracy and clarity in your writing. Pay attention to verb tense consistency and subject-verb agreement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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