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Band 7.5

The graph shows the percentage of male and female academic staff members across the faculties of a major university in 2012

The graph shows the percentage of male and female academic staff members across the faculties of a major university in 2012
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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of employees of two genders in seven different departments at a university.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 male workers are more than half of all genres of faculty, and the most noticeable data that can be viewed is on engineering, which peaks at 82%. Looking at the diagram more closely, one can see that the arts and education fields are dominated by female staff. There are around 15% more in the arts,
while
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 there are three times more in education.
Moreover
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, in business, law, and science departments, the proportion of male workers is higher than that of female workers.
By contrast
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, males are almost two times higher than females in business and approximately 20% more in both law and science fields.
In addition
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, the employee percentage in engineering faculty has the most significant margin,
while
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 there is nearly no difference in medicine faculty.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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