Nowadays a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development ?

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A large of number physically disturbed
people
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are aiming to
comeround
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come round
compound
using different medications and
treatments
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instead
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of consulting traditional specialist
doctors
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. I think It's not a positive way of treatment. There is a high risk
to be
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of being
show examples
sick
more
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apply
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after following these non-scientific methods.
Firsty
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First
, most of the time the
villegers
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villagers
are the main customers of quack treatment. On top of that,
remarkable
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a remarkable
the remarkable
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number of city-dwellers are
also
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falling
in
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into
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the trap. Sometimes, a gang of wicked
people
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using
Wrong verb form
use
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religious faith to treat serious
patients
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which can lead to death as the system is not scientifically proven.
Furthermore
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, there are some
people
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who convince
the
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apply
show examples
normal
people
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telling
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to tell
show examples
false stories about themselves as they become cured using
that
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apply
show examples
alternative
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medicines. Most of the
alternative
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medicines are not made at
laboratory
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laboratories
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or testing centres. Those are not proven
Linking Words
also
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apply
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to cure someone totally.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, usual
doctors
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have at least a specialization or medical degree. They completed studying case taking, anatomy, physiology, hepatology and many other courses. They have practical knowledge of treating various
patients
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.
Additionally
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, the way of their
treatments
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are
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is
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scientifically proven.
Besides
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, they have surgical knowledge
what
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that
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is unknown to the so-called
alternative
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doctors
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.
Moreover
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, most of the usual
doctors
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are specialized in their fields. cardiologists never treat the
patients
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of neurology.
Usual
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Usually
show examples
doctors
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are cautious about
diagonosis
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diagnosis
with different tests which can help to mark and treat the problem easily and properly. At
last
Linking Words
, I must
cofess
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confess
that,
alternative
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medicines and
treatments
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are not effective as
treatments
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of usual
doctors
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. It is obviously a negative practice which makes
the
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apply
show examples
people
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fool. Only usual
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Correct your spelling
doctors doctors
doctors'
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doctors'
doctors
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'
treatments
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can be called
as
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a
show examples
positive improvement for the
patients
Use synonyms
Submitted by ashiqbillah99 on

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task response
The essay addresses the prompt but lacks a clear opinion. It is important to clearly state whether the development is positive or negative and provide supporting reasons throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear overall structure and the ideas are logically organized within paragraphs. However, there are some grammar and punctuation errors that affect the flow of the essay. Proofreading and editing is recommended to improve the coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary and there are some good word choices. However, there are instances of repetition and the use of some phrases could be improved. It is advisable to vary vocabulary and use synonyms to enhance the lexical resource.
grammatical range
The essay shows a good control of grammar with generally accurate sentence structures. However, there are some errors in subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and prepositions. Careful proofreading and reviewing of grammar rules will help improve the grammatical range.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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