When people move to another country, some of them decide to follow the customs of the new country. Others prefer to keep their own customs. Compare these two choices. Which one do you prefer? Support your answer with specific details.
Nowadays,
culture
is an issue that is
less discussed among communities. When many people
migrate to another country
, they have an attitude to pursue the new country
's customs
. However
, others prefer to continue their own customs
. there seem to be two different look-outs, which we will discuss here and reach a conclusion.
A group of people
like to adapt themselves to the new country
’s costumes because they find the new traditions, noticeable. In each country
, people
have numerous customs
which can be stupendous for foreigners. Furthermore
, some people
prefer to follow customs
of the new Correct article usage
the customs
country
because immigrants want to align with the country
they are living in. They point to evidence from countries such
as Iran where this
appears to be the case, and immigrants cherish the birth of Christ as a new year.
However
, proponents of keeping their own customs
, have an opinion that staying their own customs
is more valuable and importance
than Replace the word
important
the follow
new Wrong verb form
following
customs
. This
leads people
do
not Unnecessary verb
apply
forget
their Fix the infinitive
to forget
culture
. People
obliged
to know they should protect their Add a missing verb
are obliged
culture
and perpetuate their customs
. Another factor is, proponents
have an idea that Correct word choice
that proponents
customs
and the
Correct article usage
apply
culture
should convey
to the next generation. By Wrong verb form
be conveyed
this
we mean thatAdd a comma
this,
,
Remove the comma
apply
customs
will always stay in people
life’s
. Change the noun form
lives
life
Example
can be seen in, if Add an article
An example
The example
adolescence
migrate Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
in
another Change preposition
to
country
they will postulate to follow their owm
Correct your spelling
own
customs
.
In conclusion, I would tend to side with the proponents of keeping their own customs
. It seems to be logical
idea which is essential for generations and the Add an article
a logical
the logical
culture
. It would be
more negative effects Verb problem
have
for
Change preposition
on
people
and culture
to follow the customs
of new
Add an article
the new
a new
country
.Submitted by TUTOO on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a clear main idea and includes supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Add an introduction that clearly states your position and provides a brief overview of your main points. Also, include a conclusion that summarizes your ideas and restates your opinion.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of words and phrases to express your ideas. Try to vary your vocabulary and use more specific and precise words.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. Make sure your sentences are clear, accurate, and free from errors.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite