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Band 5.5

In some countries, buying a car rather than renting one is very important for people.   Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #car #people #be #case #situation
Nowadays, buying a
car
 is much more important than renting
one
 in some countries.
This
 essay will examine the causes
as well as
evaluating
Wrong verb form
evaluate
show examples
this
 situation. There are a variety of different causes for
this
 case.
To begin
 with, cars are the main
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 in almost every western
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
 so buying a
car
 will bring out more amenities for people. If you have your own
car
, you can easily control your daily routine.
For example
, you have 2 courses at 7.00 AM and your
renting
Replace the word
rented
show examples
car
 is taken back for some
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
 and you have to walk to school or use
transportation
Correct article usage
a transportation
show examples
 app which is really annoying and
unconsistent
Correct your spelling
inconsistent
.
Secondly
, buying a
car
 is more adorable than renting
one
. With your own
car
, you just have to pay for the
car
 itself and some kind of taxes which is kinda low but with renting a
car
, there are many things that make
you're
Unnecessary verb
you
show examples
 worried about like the protection of the
car
 like it's not your
car
 so you can't decide about it and have to have
responsibility
Add an article
a responsibility
the responsibility
show examples
 to take care of the thing that
don't
Change the verb form
doesn't
show examples
 belong to you which makes no sense. In my opinion, the
values
Fix the agreement mistake
value
show examples
 of having your own
car
outweigh
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
show examples
 the
values
Fix the agreement mistake
value
show examples
 of renting
one
 so it is a positive situation.
A
Correct article usage
The
show examples
 first benefit that we can easily see is the freedom that we get from owning a
car
like
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
you don't have to
worried
Change the verb
worry
show examples
 about
transporting
Replace the word
transportation
show examples
 when you have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 unscheduled appointment or you want to have a trip at
weekend
Correct article usage
the weekend
show examples
. A second benefit is for the government. When everyone has their own
car
, the government can adjust and control the population of
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 more effectively.
For example
, if cars become a usual thing that everyone
does have
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
, there are multi
transporting
Replace the word
transport
show examples
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 will close down which is really supportive for the government because it reduces the number of
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
. In conclusion, there are several
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
logical reasons
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why buying a
car
 is more important than renting
one
. Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a few drawbacks, I believe that
this
 situation
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 out more positive effects for the world.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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