The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site
The map illustrates an industrial zone in N at
present
Correct article usage
the present
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time
,
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and proposed changes for
future
Correct article usage
the future
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of
this
area
.
Overall
, We can see that the industrial zone has completely changed into a residential district.
In addition
, some new facilities have been constructed
according to
the proposed plan which led to the
area
's development. The most noticeable change is that there will be no factories in the
area
anymore and they will all be demolished.
Instead
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Instead,
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new houses will be built alongside the main street,
as well as
building new streets around the square.
Furthermore
, new facilities like
school
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schools
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and
play ground
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playground
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will be built for the residents of the
area
,
as well as
new shops and medical
centers
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centres
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for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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times of need. It is notable that, the residential region will be expanded opposite the river.
However
,
This
will be achieved by constructing a bridge over the stream and creating new accommodation opposite the river.
Submitted by golriiz23 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as".
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words area with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrial area
  • development
  • infrastructure
  • manufacturing
  • facilities
  • transition
  • planning
  • commercial
  • residential
  • renovation
  • urban planning
  • sustainability
  • environmental impact
  • local economy
  • rejuvenation
  • construction
  • modernization
  • accessibility
  • demolition
  • gentrification
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