IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The best way to solve traffic and transportation problems is to encourage people to live in cities rather than suburbs or countryside. What extent do you agree or disagree?

#traffic #transportation #people #cities #suburbs #countryside
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Most metropolitan countries are facing two main problems ;
transportation
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 and
traffic
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jams
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.
Therefore
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, some
people
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 believe that the most effective way to deal with
this
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 condition is to persuade
people
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 to live in rural areas rather than in the cities.
However
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, in
this
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 essay, I will elaborate
why
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on why
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 I tend to disagree with the statement.
To begin
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 with, we cannot deny the fact that cities offer a lot more
opportunity
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opportunities
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 than in the countryside, causing numerous
people
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 to migrate, and making the
population
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 overload.
This
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 situation pushes
the
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apply
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traffic
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jams
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 and
transportation
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 challenges, especially
most
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since most
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people
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choosing
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choose
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 to have their own car.
For instance
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 in
Indonesia
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, based on a survey conducted by the Ministry of
Transportation
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, 90% of Indonesian households own more than 1 vehicle in their house.
Thus
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,
this
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 is proof that it is not undeniable why
Indonesia
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 is facing a serious problem
of
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with
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transportation
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, just imagine if the
population
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 of 1
city
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 is about 11 million, and everyone has their own car,
everyday
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every day
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 in the street there must be 11 million of
transportation
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, excluding the public
transportation
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.
On the other hand
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, the government of the country has to start recommending their society to live in rural areas, or at least to move to the countryside to reduce
this
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 matter of
transportation
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 since life in cities has been too crowded.
Village
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The village
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population
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 is quieter, so it is totally ideal.
Moreover
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, changing the capital
city
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 of the country can be the one solution.
For example
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, the Indonesian government has a plan
in
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for
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 2024 to change Jakarta, which has been the capital
city
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 of
Indonesia
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 to Kalimantan. Kalimantan is an area in the west, far enough from Jakarta, and one of the rustic areas in
Indonesia
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.
As a result
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, the
population
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 who stay in Jakarta will lower to 5 million
people
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, and the
traffic
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jams
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 issue will decrease to 30%. In conclusion, encouraging society to still live in the
city
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 is not the best option for
traffic
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jams
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 and
transportation
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 matters.
Additionally
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, there must be an equality to transfer
population
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 to the countryside, so that
the
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apply
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transportation
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 will not be a serious trouble for the nation.
Submitted by zefanyagyu on

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task response
Make sure to address all aspects of the task prompt, including presenting your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical organization of ideas throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Use a range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to minimize errors.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban sprawl
  • public transport infrastructure
  • commutes
  • residential density
  • ecological footprint
  • overcrowding
  • urban planning
  • car-sharing
  • traffic management
  • rural preservation
  • transportation policies
  • electric vehicles
  • sustainable living
  • incentivize
  • telecommuting
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