Many people play sports when they are young but the stop doing physical exercise when they become adults. Why do so many adults stop doing physical exercise? what can be done about this problem?
Most people do a lot of physical
activities
in their childhood and adolescence. However
, they stop playing sports
in their adult life
. I believe that the main reason for this
is the pace of nowadays life
. At
the current Change preposition
In
every-day
Correct your spelling
everyday
life
, society expect
that adults work a lot. Change the verb form
expects
Besides
, they have a lot of responsibilities and bills to pay, so, there is a lack of time to play sports
and do physical exercise.
When we are young the only responsibility is studying and playing. So, there is enough time to do outside activities
and play sports
. In fact, most of
parents Change preposition
apply
stimulating
their kids to try several types of Wrong verb form
stimulate
sports
, such
as football, swimming, basketball, running, judo
, among others. Correct word choice
and judo
In addition
, the school incentive
the students to do physical exercises and Correct your spelling
incentivises
promote
championships, Correct subject-verb agreement
promotes
for instance
. These activities
are very important to children
development, for mental and physical Change noun form
children's
healthy
.
Replace the word
health
On the other hand
, when we are adults, we have too many responsibilities and a few free times
. An adult must Fix the agreement mistake
time
concern
about jobs, bills, taxes, taking and picking up the kids at Wrong verb form
be concerned
the
school, Correct article usage
apply
do
shopping, cleaning the house, cooking, and so on. Unnecessary verb
apply
Then
, there is no time to do physical exercise or play sports
. It is a problem because our healthy
can be Replace the word
health
worst
.
A possible solution for Correct word choice
worse
this
problem is trying to include sports
or physical activities
in the routine. Another solution is the
employers promote a healthy Correct your spelling
that
life
for their employees. For example
, some companies offer vouchers to their employees do
Fix the infinitive
to do
sports
on
Change preposition
at
partners
gyms.
Change the noun form
partner
To conclude
, it is a serious issue adults
do not Correct word choice
that adults
physical
Change the word
physically
exercises
or play Correct subject-verb agreement
exercise
sports
. It can commit
their Verb problem
affect
healthy
and contribute to illness. All the society should help people have a healthy Replace the word
health
life
, especially the employers.Submitted by fmulato on
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task achievement
Make sure to address both the reasons why adults stop doing physical exercise and what can be done about the problem. Consider providing more examples and supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure with an introduction and a conclusion. Keep up the good work!
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary by using a wider range of words and phrases. Additionally, try to include more idiomatic language to make your writing more natural.
grammatical range
You demonstrate a good understanding of sentence structures and use them accurately. However, try to incorporate a wider range of complex and varied sentence structures to showcase your grammatical range.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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