Today more and more people want things instantly(eg:goods, service, news). Why is this? Is it positive or negative development.

In
this
day and age, customers tend to look for products including goods, news, and services as soon as they encounter them. I believe that
this
trend is occurring
due to
the advance in technology and that will have negative effects on individual's lives, especially, an increase in the chance of being targeted by cyberattackers and unorganizing financial plans. Currently, the Internet has a variety of uses
such
as communicating and searching for information that helps the users in finding what they want,
thus
,
itself
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
creates a space where shops and stores that are far from the users are now likely to be next to them.
Hence
, stimulating the notion of surfing the Internet and buying commodities instantly.
Moreover
, services and news are
also
easier to obtain,
for instance
, before online websites were invented,
people
had to buy paper news to know what was happening around them, but with modern applications,
people
can read e-newspaper via their smart devices. Eventually,
people
just need to take a short amount of time to decide what they have seen.
Although
this
is a result of establishing technologies, the notion, still, has some problematic issues related to individuals rather than communities. Without any awareness of visiting websites to reach their destinations as fast as possible, customers can be tricked by hackers which leads to a cyberattack.
Furthermore
, scammers
also
base on
this
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
to give customers
fraud
Replace the word
fraudulent
show examples
information, and just like hackers, personal information will be exploited to make profits.
Additionally
spending mindlessly can lead to debt and financial burden. In conclusion, more and more
people
decide in an instant
as a consequence
of technological development.
This
author holds the view that
this
action can affect consumers negatively.
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Task Achievement
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Coherence and Cohesion
You've used linking words effectively to create cohesion within and between paragraphs. To elevate your writing, consider varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition and make your essay even more engaging.
Logical Structure
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Relevant & Specific Examples
Your essay does well to maintain relevance to the prompt, using specific examples related to technology and its impacts on buying behavior.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant gratification
  • advent of technology
  • smartphones
  • internet
  • social media platforms
  • online shopping
  • fast-paced nature
  • modern life
  • immediate satisfaction
  • drive innovation
  • efficiency
  • streamlined
  • user-friendly
  • erosion of patience
  • impulsive buying
  • shallow consumption
  • interpersonal relationships
  • unrealistic standards
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