Some people say that the most successful organization is mainly because the managers and workers can communicate well with each other. However, other people claim that there are more important factors the make an organization successful. Discuss both point of views and give your own opinion.

#people #organization #managers #workers #factors #make #point

The majority of folks believe a community can be successful if the leaders and members can transfer their opinions to each other.

Although

Correct word choice

However

show examples

some of them

also

state that there are other essential reasons to make an organization advanced.

This

essay will show my opinion about both sides. Communication is one of the ways to achieve a conclusion either in a group or private discussion because through that we can produce some perspective from the case that we resolve, particularly in terms of organization

such

company

work

team

For instance

, in 2023, I did an internship in the financial industry,

thus

I had a task with my

team

to finish a project. In a short story, one of my friends just left the assignment without any confirmation and she did not tell her problem why she could not finish that,

finally

because of one mistake

hence

all of my

team

got punished. That evidence of a failed event can be affected by a lack of discussion. The quality of the citizens in an organization

also

can be the main factor in how successful they are. The entrepreneurs believe that if they can invest in humans, their

company

becomes more developed than others.

For example

company

Correct article usage

a company

show examples

will find the best candidate for their

team

to work together through LinkedIn, and they will search for sufficient talent based on their

skills

, education, and portfolio. Hopefully, they can reach an excellent employee who is capable for their

company

. In conclusion, communication and

skills

related to the group are important for maintaining. Society should think about hard

skills

and soft

skills

, not just education level to hiring someone for vacancies.

Submitted by damayanti.nsd on Fri Apr 12 2024

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coherence cohesion

Consider improving the variety and complexity of your sentences to enhance readability and engagement.

task achievement

Enhance the clarity of your argument by more explicitly stating your own opinion towards the end of the introduction and clearly reiterate it in the conclusion.

task achievement

Try to use a more formal and varied vocabulary to precisely express your ideas and to add depth to your argument.

coherence cohesion

Focus on developing your paragraphs with more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your main points.

task achievement

Your essay effectively discusses both viewpoints, showing a balanced understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

The structure of your essay, with clear paragraphs for each point, helps in making your argument coherent.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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