The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

#expenditure #two #countries #consumer #goods

The bar chart underneath compares how much

France

and the

had spent on cars,

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

, books, perfume and cameras in the year 2010. The values are expressed in pound sterling.

Overall

, it can be inferred that apart from computers and perfume, the

invested more capital on

rest

Correct article usage

the rest

show examples

of the goods than

France

. Both the nations spent most of their money on cars

whereas

the least sum was

given

Verb problem

spent

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

perfumes. In 2010, a little more than 450,000

pounds

sterling was spent on cars

Change preposition

show examples

the

while

France

invested approximately 50,000

pounds

sterling less than the former.

Following

this

, the expenditure on books counted around 300,000 and 400,000

pounds

sterling for

France

and the

, respectively. Capital enculcated on

purchase

Correct article usage

the purchase

show examples

of cameras clocked somewhere near 350,000

pounds

sterling

whereas

France

shockingly spent approximately 2 times

lesser

Correct word choice

less

show examples

than the previous value. Computers stood out to be the second highest grosser for

France

amounting near 0.4 million

pounds

alternatively

Add a comma

alternatively,

show examples

the other nation clocked

aprroximately

Correct your spelling

approximately

25,000

pounds

less than the former.

Submitted by mrigankingley2099 on Fri Nov 03 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words france, uk, pounds with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

170 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

expenditure
consumer goods
chart
countries
overall
compare
analyze
categories
consumer spending
trends
proportions
statistics
increase
decrease
significant
notable
remarkable
substantial
considerable
determine
conclude
in conclusion

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The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

Writing sample, preferably on a topic related to aging studies and/or gerontology, that demonstrates strong logical reasoning and written communication skills.

In some countries many parents are interested in home schooling and the trend is gaining popularity. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

Reopening new mining companies on islands can be harmful to the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?

The main purpose of public libraries should be to provide books. Public libraries should not spend their limited resources on computer software, videos, or DVDs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?