The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

#expenditure #two #countries #consumer #goods

The bar chart underneath compares how much

France

and the

had spent on cars,

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

, books, perfume and cameras in the year 2010. The values are expressed in pound sterling.

Overall

, it can be inferred that apart from computers and perfume, the

invested more capital on

rest

Correct article usage

the rest

show examples

of the goods than

France

. Both the nations spent most of their money on cars

whereas

the least sum was

given

Verb problem

spent

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

perfumes. In 2010, a little more than 450,000

pounds

sterling was spent on cars

Change preposition

show examples

the

while

France

invested approximately 50,000

pounds

sterling less than the former.

Following

this

, the expenditure on books counted around 300,000 and 400,000

pounds

sterling for

France

and the

, respectively. Capital enculcated on

purchase

Correct article usage

the purchase

show examples

of cameras clocked somewhere near 350,000

pounds

sterling

whereas

France

shockingly spent approximately 2 times

lesser

Correct word choice

less

show examples

than the previous value. Computers stood out to be the second highest grosser for

France

amounting near 0.4 million

pounds

alternatively

Add a comma

alternatively,

show examples

the other nation clocked

aprroximately

Correct your spelling

approximately

25,000

pounds

less than the former.

Submitted by mrigankingley2099 on Fri Nov 03 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words france, uk, pounds with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

170 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

expenditure
consumer goods
chart
countries
overall
compare
analyze
categories
consumer spending
trends
proportions
statistics
increase
decrease
significant
notable
remarkable
substantial
considerable
determine
conclude
in conclusion

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Why teenagers are on the rise doing criminal activities worldwide?what are the causes and possible solutions
I agree with the statements that teenagers are mosty involved in criminal activities. As teenagers are immature,they don't knows whats wrong or whats right moreever,poverty may be another reason for that. And lack of proper guidances,they donot know the conesquences for doing that dangerous activity.
<4
band
In some societies, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Why do you think this is? Do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages?
Preference of individuals choosing to live alone is particularly noticeable in urban areas and developed countries. There is seen cultural shift from people prefer solitary living compared to building a family for many reasons. First of all, economic factors. The abiltiy tu spport oneself withough partner are seen empowering and easier compared in a family.
8
band
Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?
There is a worrying trend that after undergoing the initial punishment, many convicts are involved in further criminal activities. Personally, there is a wide range of contributing culprits behind this puzzling issue, however, it is not necessarily beyond solution.
5.5
band
You recently organised an all-day meeting for your company, which took place in a local hotel. In their feedback, participants at the meeting said that they liked the hotel, but they were unhappy about the food that was served for launch. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter say what the participants liked about the hotel explain why they were unhappy about the food suggest what the manager should do to improve the food in the future Write at least 150 words.
I would like to thank you for your support in hosting our meeting at your hotel last Saturday. Sunshine hotel which located in district 1 was one of the best choice for arranging workshop or meeting with a great service but great finger food quality. According to our participants feedbacks that was not exactly what they expected.
4
band
People today are more concerned with owing material possession than with developing friendships and family relationship. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Nowadays, while people feel that holding their material possessions is an issue for them to worry about, I, however, believe that the expaindment of both family and friendship is more important to concern.

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Why teenagers are on the rise doing criminal activities worldwide?what are the causes and possible solutions

In some societies, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Why do you think this is? Do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages?

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

People today are more concerned with owing material possession than with developing friendships and family relationship. To what extent do you agree with this statement?