67.Some people say that governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help people prevent illness and disease. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that the government should give more importance to
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
pollution
and housing problems
, so health problems
can be avoided. This
essay completely agrees with this
statement because pollution
leads to respiratory diseases
and inadequate housing can cause illnesses.
Pollution
problems
are increasing every year. This
is because of the activities that humans carry out, more and more diseases
are discovered that are linked to air pollution
, when the amount of pollution
increases, people
’s lives in danger rise too, and the most common problems
are related to the respiratory system. Recent research concluded that in the last
decades, there has been an increase in asthma cases, and many people
are getting lung problems
, and there are still no solutions for some diseases
.
Inadequate type of housing can cause health problems
for all people
who live there. Overcrowding is the biggest problem in most countries, this
causes that if one of the individuals that is
in the house has an infectious disease the others have a high probability to be infected too. Also
, people
can get mental health problems
, such
as psychological stress and sleeping problems
, which in the long term period will lead to more serious issues. A recent study found that,
more and more Remove the comma
apply
people
are going to the phycologist because they are having sleeping problems
, after studying the cases, the experts concluded that most of them were living with too many people
which caused them to be mentally stressed.
In conclusion, the government should look for solutions to both pollution
and housing problems
, so the number of diseases
related to these causes can be reduced.Submitted by elenazheng1211 on
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task response
Provide more specific examples related to the diseases caused by pollution and inadequate housing. This will make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that there is a clear logical flow between your paragraphs, connecting your ideas and arguments more effectively.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary by using a wider variety of words and expressions related to pollution, housing, and health issues.
grammatical range
Pay attention to your sentence structure, making sure to vary sentence types and use complex structures to demonstrate a higher level of grammatical range.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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