The graph below shows the number of boys and girls playing sport in an English town in 2012

The provided chart reflects the percentage of females and males playing sports in one town in the United Kingdom in the year

Change preposition

apply

show examples

2012.

This

given bar chart manifests six different types of sport: tennis,

football

, badminton, cycling,

hockey

, and swimming.

Overall

, after a thorough analysis of the provided bar chart, it can be plainly viewed that

while

football

was the most popular sport among boys, swimming was

favored

Change the spelling

favoured

show examples

by girls in that English town.

However

hockey

was the least popular sport among both genders. In the beginning, concerning males,

whereas

the percentage of playing

football

recorded 60

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

as the most famous game,

hockey

registered the lowest proportion ( slightly less than 20%).

Furthermore

according to

the given data, it can be seen that the proportions of cycling,

as well as

, swimming were approximately the same ( around 38% and 42%, respectively).

In addition

to that tennis, which scored 50%, was in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

second place as the most common game in 2012.

Moreover

, regarding the females, in comparison with the percentage of swimming, which was 50%, the proportion of

hockey

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

was the lowest ( hit 10%).

Additionally

,both

football

and cycling recorded 20%, simultaneously.

Finally

, it is worth

Change preposition

apply

show examples

noticing that badminton scored 40%, followed by tennis which was just below 40% in that year.

Submitted by Drfatima.Abdullah on Fri Nov 03 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words football, hockey with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

215 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
In some countries, more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this question?
There can be little doubt that people are interested in discovering the history of the accommodations in which they live . The writer of this essay believes that the causes of this phenomenon are curiosity about appreciation and practical knowledge. Furthermore, online resources can be useful for research.
7.5
band
In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?
The ongoing debate about whether it is better for university students to study abroad or remain in their hometown is complex. While there are clear advantages to studying close to home, I am convinced that the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh those of staying local.
7
band
1. In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, living alone is becoming more popular than before. For many people, especially adults, the chance to move from their parent’s house to their own house is attractive. However, there are both pros and cons to deciding to do this. In this essay, I will discuss some of the reasons why living alone is so popular these days and some of the challenges to be overcome.
6
band
Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination,while other think that tere are more important factors such as money and appearance.Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In this ambitious world, money is trending. Indeed, people are being evaluated based on their wealth. Some believe that working hard in life will eventually make you successful, while others on contrary, believe that it is all about being wealthy and having good looking. While both views are logical, in my opinion, hard work is the key to becoming powerful. In the forthcoming paragraphs, this essay will elaborate more on both views by exemplifying lucid examples.
6
band
Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems To what extent do you agree or disagree ?Other major do you think my effective?
It is irrefutable that raising the price of petrol is a good way to solve the expanding traffic and pollution problems . vehicles become huge problems , both in cities and on motorways everywhere .

The graph below shows the number of boys and girls playing sport in an English town in 2012

In some countries, more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this question?

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

1. In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination,while other think that tere are more important factors such as money and appearance.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems To what extent do you agree or disagree ?Other major do you think my effective?