The chart shows the sales of five different kinds of jam from 2009 to 2014

#sales #five #kinds #jam

The line graph illustrates the numbers request of five different

flavors

Change the spelling

flavours

show examples

of jam namely, Strawberry,Raspberry, Grape,Cherry,and Plum between 2009 and 2014.

Overall

, three kinds of flavour taste Grape, Raspberry and Fritz increased over the 6 years but Plum

,was

Verb problem

apply

show examples

steadily dropped to the lowest number in 2014

while

, Cherry

sales

number was unstable from 2009 to 2014.

Firstly

, a Strawberry star

with

Change preposition

apply

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above 3 in 2009 to peak the highest

sales

per cent by seven thousand, moving to the second kind the Raspberry under 3

then

increased slightly to 5 and was stable to around 5 thousand to the

last

year 2014. Plam

sales

began with the same number as Raspberry

sales

but , regularly declined to reach zero there was no inquiry for Palm

jam

Capitalize word

Jam

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in 2014. The cherry aroma

was fluctuated

Change to the active voice

fluctuated

has fluctuated

show examples

starting with close to two to around three in the

last

year 2014. Noticed Grape rose dramatically from above zero to more than five.

Submitted by rawan.13mm on Fri Nov 03 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

157 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The chart shows the sales of five different kinds of jam from 2009 to 2014

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people use distance learning to study at home ,but some people think it cannot bring the benefit of attending collage or university. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people are interested in how banks work. The Mechanisms of Banking: Understanding the Interplay between Savers and Borrowers

The most important aim of science be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Many criminals re-offend after they have been punished. punished, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem