The chart shows the sales of five different kinds of jam from 2009 to 2014

The chart shows the sales of five different kinds of jam from 2009 to 2014
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The line graph illustrates the numbers request of five different
flavors
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flavours
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of jam namely, Strawberry,Raspberry, Grape,Cherry,and Plum between 2009 and 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, three kinds of flavour taste Grape, Raspberry and Fritz increased over the 6 years but Plum
,was
Verb problem
apply
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steadily dropped to the lowest number in 2014
while
Linking Words
, Cherry
sales
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number was unstable from 2009 to 2014.
Firstly
Linking Words
, a Strawberry star
with
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apply
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above 3 in 2009 to peak the highest
sales
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per cent by seven thousand, moving to the second kind the Raspberry under 3
then
Linking Words
increased slightly to 5 and was stable to around 5 thousand to the
last
Linking Words
year 2014. Plam
sales
Use synonyms
began with the same number as Raspberry
sales
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but , regularly declined to reach zero there was no inquiry for Palm
jam
Capitalize word
Jam
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in 2014. The cherry aroma
was fluctuated
Change to the active voice
fluctuated
has fluctuated
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starting with close to two to around three in the
last
Linking Words
year 2014. Noticed Grape rose dramatically from above zero to more than five.
Submitted by rawan.13mm on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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