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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries, the cost of living is rapidly increasing. what do you think may be the reason for this? what effects might this have on society?

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Living costs in some countries are swiftly rising
this
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 is because the national rate is high.
As a result
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, the community's buying capability is weakened.
This
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 essay will discuss how it has become the main reason and how it affects society's purchasing capability. Increased prices of goods and services are driven by inflation. there are various reasons why inflation happens
such
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 as an unmanageable increase in the money supply. Indonesian 1998 is an example of a country where the living cost at that time rose greatly
due to
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 expansion. The nation was unstable, which created an economic crisis.
Consequently
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, primary, secondary, and even tertiary needs prices were unaffordable for some populations. A remark and notable effect of expansion is the purchasing capability of the people is weakened. Still in Indonesia in 1998, low to middle-class economy people could not afford basic food needs
such
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 as eggs, potatoes and rice
due to
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 their prices in the market. The station was forcing the seller to put an unreasonable price
due to
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 stabilizing the economy and political situation at that period of time.
Therefore
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, only several groups of a community could afford to buy the things they need
as a consequence
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 of expansion or in other terms, it has lessened their purchasing capacity. Another province that had an experience with
this
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 issue was Venezuela in 2022 with an approximately three hundred per cent rise rate. In conclusion, maintaining the supply of money in a province is crucial and indisputable;
otherwise
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, a country will face the following problems
such
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 as an economic crisis which affects the society's purchasing power.

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task achievement
You have addressed the topic and provided reasons and effects of the increasing cost of living. However, you need to elaborate more on these points. Providing more detailed explanations for your arguments would improve your essay significantly.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is mostly coherent, there are areas where the logical flow could be improved. Avoid abrupt transitions between ideas, and ensure each paragraph connects well with the next. This will help in maintaining a clearer logical structure.
task achievement
You have provided specific examples, such as the situations in Indonesia and Venezuela, which help to support your main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, framing your arguments effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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