some people believe teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects, even ones they do not enjoy. others, however, believe that teenagers should only focus on the subjects they are best at or find most interesting. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #teenagers #school #subjects #ones #focus

It is true that many schools have many subjects that it is very important and useful for

students

While

many

people

think that

students

should learn in many lessons , others believe that

students

should focus on the lesson that they have been studying.

This

essay will explain both views from my experiences and will give you reasons.

To begin

with, studying in many fields, first of all, children who prefer to know many things like history, technology and sciences will be intelligent

people

,and many companies want

people

are understand and can do everything for their companies so, if they study in many fields, they will have good jobs in the future.

Therefore

,I believe that studying in many majors is very beneficial for them. Another point of view, some group of

people

believe that young age should learn in only one area that is very useful for them ,and if they study many subjects, it will be too much information for them ,and they will lose the important things in their course.

However

, I think that

students

should interested in many courses because the survey found that if not more than 10 years, some jobs will be lost in the future. So, humans need to develop themselves,and they must have knowledge of technology, computers, AI and sciences

To sum up

, I think that studying many subjects is very valuable ,and

students

should learn in everything not only their field because the world has changed,and everyone needs to develop themselves.

Submitted by itchayatop31 on Fri Nov 03 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates to the overall argument.

coherence cohesion

Improve the organization of ideas in the introduction and conclusion.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary and avoid repeating certain words too often.

grammatical range

Pay attention to verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence structures.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

249 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

concentrate
school subjects
enjoy
focus
best at
interesting
benefits
well-rounded
education
critical thinking
problem-solving skills
discover
interests
talents
depth of knowledge
specialization
motivation
engagement
career paths
balanced approach
foundation
individual strengths
passions
opinion

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some people believe teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects, even ones they do not enjoy. others, however, believe that teenagers should only focus on the subjects they are best at or find most interesting. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

.When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Many people use distance learning program to study at home but some people think that it cannot bring the benefit as much as attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree.