IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many university students nowadays live away from their home and their parents because of their university location, while others live with their families. What are the advantages and disadvantages of each situation? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#university #students #home #parents #location #families #situation #answers
Gone are the days when
students
 left their families and hometowns to study. Nowadays, it is evident that most university
students
 prefer to live away from their parents and homes
whereas
 a few others do not prefer to relocate because of their studies. Both situations have merits and demerits. Needless to say, in
this
 contemporary competitive era,
education
 and career have become the highest priority among
students
.
As a result
,
education
 seekers are not afraid of relocating to new cities to enrol in universities to get a better
education
 and have a great career.
Firstly
,
this
 action of
students
 makes them not only more self-confident but
also
 more independent as compared to the
students
 who prefer to stay with their families.
Secondly
, leaving their homes provides them with an opportunity to explore themselves
as well as
 their capabilities in
this
 competitive world.
However
, there are
also
 chances that,
due to
 living away from their parents, youngsters may get depressed and find themselves involved in a more hectic lifestyle. The situation where high-school graduates are willing to live with their family members and study at their hometown institutes comes with a plethora of benefits despite the fact that these graduates are not enrolled in a top-notch university.
For example
, youngsters feel more secure
while
 living in their homes as they know that their parents will always be there to support them financially and emotionally.
Nevertheless
, every coin has two sides and
this
 case is no exception. In the long run, these
students
 might not be able to succeed in their lives or earn the same salary package that other
students
 who graduated from famous universities earn. In a nutshell, even though there are several advantages and disadvantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 each situation,
education
 seekers should go with their personal preferences.
Submitted by harpal.singh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
While discussing the advantages and disadvantages of each situation, make sure to provide more specific and detailed examples to support your points. This will make your essay more comprehensive and persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Although the logical structure of the essay is well-maintained, you could improve the cohesion by using appropriate transition words and phrases to connect your ideas more effectively. This will make your essay flow better and enhance its readability.
lexical resource
Your vocabulary is impressive, but try to incorporate a wider range of synonyms and idiomatic expressions to further enrich your essay. This will demonstrate your lexical proficiency and enhance the overall quality of your writing.
grammatical range
Overall, your grammar is strong. However, vary your sentence structures by incorporating more complex and compound sentences. This will showcase your ability to use a wide range of grammatical structures.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • life skills
  • budgeting
  • self-care
  • homesickness
  • stress
  • responsibility
  • social life
  • family obligations
  • financial strain
  • emotional support
  • personal growth
  • distractions
  • support network
  • challenging times
What to do next:
Look at other essays: