The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008.

#show #percentage #time #adults #activities #country

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The pie charts

are given

Wrong verb form

give

show examples

information about the percentage of

time

Use synonyms

mature

people

Use synonyms

spent their

time

Use synonyms

on several activities in some countries in the years 1958 and 2008.

Overall

Linking Words

, it is clearly seen most

people

Use synonyms

in 1958 most likely spent their activities working and sleeping,

while

Linking Words

in 2008

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

similar things occurred though in different proportions of percentage.

To begin

Linking Words

with, in 1958 folks spared their almost half a day into two things, which are working (33%) and sleeping (32%).

Besides

Linking Words

, they hang out with friends or family though not frequently, only 19%.

Moreover

Linking Words

, relaxing at home,

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

to work, and doing sports were below 10%, which can be said not

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the priority for some

people

Use synonyms

Move

Wrong verb form

Moving

show examples

to 2008, adults still gave their priority

time

Use synonyms

to working and sleeping.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, there is a significant increase in the working percentage, which is up to 42%

than

Correct quantifier usage

more than

show examples

previously, yet the sleeping

time

Use synonyms

decreases to 25%

than

Correct quantifier usage

more than

show examples

the previous one.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, there is a specific rise in the number of

people

Use synonyms

relaxing at home

as well as

Linking Words

doing exercise

although

Linking Words

hanging out

time

Use synonyms

proportionally is getting lower to 6%.

Submitted by zefanyagyu on Fri Nov 03 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words time, people with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

187 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest?
It is an irrefutable fact that nowadays' people are more lazy as Opposed to it heyday back in the 1900s. Such a trend could being about multifacted issues, which need urgent actions. This essay will analyze various reasons and the impact of this trend along with example in the upcoming paragraphs.
6
band
Some people believe that manufacturers should be responsible for reducing the large amounts of packaging they use. Others say consumers should avoid buying heavily packaged items. Discuss both views and state your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.
There is no doubt that industry has evolved over time till it reached a point where it is hard to stop ,which in fact has a good impact on man's life today ,however, it has its draws when it comes to the material that is used especially the ones that stays on the surroundings which includes both elastic and paper wastes.On the other side multinational corporations tend to use more stylish packages which use can be very useful for maintaining the products in good condition,furthermore making products more attractive for consumers which is a win-win situation for both corporations and individuals.In my humble opinion,i think that to protect our environment we have to take extra steps including using eco-materials which help to protect the environment and leave the consumer satisfied at the same time.
<4
band
Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men. To what extent do you agree ordisagree?
Nowadays, a group of people argue that females can perform well in the field of defence systems just like males. However, people are beginning to realize that military forces should be available for any individual. Personally , I tend to think that women should improve their skills in other fields .
6.5
band
Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
Due to increasing animal testing, many wildlife crusaders pose an objection, demanding laws against it. While another school of thought points out, that it is crucial to not rule out its role in game-changing scientific advancements. With regard to this, for a long time these tests have proven to be most reliable, and decrease margins of errors. Currently, due to the unavailability and poor results of alternate methods, tests on other species have become a necessary evil.
6
band
Studies show that crime rates are lower among those with educational degrees. Therefore, the best way to reduce the crime rate is to educate criminals while they are still in prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Crime has been around since the dawn of age, even when our first ancestors were alive. Some research states that in order to lessen crime rates, you have to educate the criminals while they are in jail. In this essay, I am going to shed some light on why I agree with this statement.

The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008.

Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest?

Some people believe that manufacturers should be responsible for reducing the large amounts of packaging they use. Others say consumers should avoid buying heavily packaged items. Discuss both views and state your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men. To what extent do you agree ordisagree?

Studies show that crime rates are lower among those with educational degrees. Therefore, the best way to reduce the crime rate is to educate criminals while they are still in prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree?