Studies have shown that most criminals have low levels of education. Because of this many believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate prisoners so they can get a job after being released. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Research has proven that the majority of offenders have low levels of
education
,
thus
educating these people might make them more likely to be employed after prison. I strongly agree with
this
statement for several reasons, which will be discussed in
this
essay. Some people might argue that certain criminals
such
as those with mental illnesses cannot be rehabilitated,
hence
allowing them to reenter work environments might be detrimental to the development of companies.
Furthermore
, the required knowledge to be employed in well-paid occupations generally needs years of studying from a young age, when one’s cognitive abilities are at their best state, to obtain and master.
This
makes teaching these kinds of knowledge to convicts, who are mostly over the age of 18, seem like a virtually impossible act.
However
, captives with psychological disorders are of the minority and could be distinguished and disqualified from educational campaigns
according to
their medical records and
behavior
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behaviour
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.
Additionally
, prisoners could be employed in the bulk of minimum to average-wage jobs as they do not require high-level
education
. Granted, providing inmates with proper
education
can potentially curb the number of prison escape attempts and cases of violence between prisoners, which are typically caused by a lack of purpose.
This
is because it does not only give convicts a useful activity to participate in and kill time
,
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but
also
possibly grants them a concrete goal to work towards.
In addition
,
education
makes prisoners well-equipped in terms of awareness and knowledge, which could help them thrive in the outside world and not be forced to resort to felonies to make a living.
Hence
,
this
directly contributes to the act that immensely decreases the number of petty crimes like theft or burglary.
This
is evidenced by Japan, where inmates are given thorough workplace training throughout their time of service, which played a prime role in stultifying
this
country’s crime rate, making it the nation with the least amount of criminals worldwide. To summarize,
while
it is undeniable that a minority of criminals should not reintegrated into the community, providing proper
education
can undoubtedly rehabilitate the majority of convicts, which could ultimately result in a considerable decline in crime rates.
Submitted by nghjnguyendanh on

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task response
Make sure to address all parts of the prompt in your essay. Provide a clear introduction, discuss your reasons and examples in the body paragraphs, and conclude your essay effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs and transitions. Make sure to connect your ideas more effectively within and between paragraphs.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is generally good, but consider using more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is quite good, but there are a few errors in sentence structure and verb tense usage. Review these areas to improve your overall accuracy.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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