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Writing Samples
Band 7

as countries gave developed there has been a trend towards smaller familt sizes why does this happen ? how does this affect society?

#countries #trend #familt #sizes #happen #affect #society
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While
 countries continue developing, citizens are choosing to form a small family . There are a variety of reasons behind
this
 trend and we cannot neglect the way it is affecting society. Families size has significantly changed over the years owing to world capitalization, the majority of people need to work extra hours to cover their needs, without forgetting that there are more working women than before.
As a result
, people don’t have enough time to create a big family and take care of it.
Moreover
, inflation plays an important role in it because prices keep on getting higher,
while
 salaries remain the same, which makes it difficult for family members to form a family or have more children, especially since their needs will develop
along with
 everything around them.
Hence
, it is challenging to have the shape of a household that we witnessed growing up.
This
 evolution has a serious impact on society because we are facing a different age pyramid. To illustrate, we will have a few young adults and a large number of seniors, which will affect job markets in a way that it is going to be difficult to secure some jobs, leading to a professional crisis.
Furthermore
,governments will need to increase the budget in order to cover health care and assistance that seniors need.
To sum up
, a country's advancement has a lot of advantages
such
 as developing the economy and ensuring a quality health care system.
Although
, it is influencing society and making the values that we grew up with disappear.
Submitted by kaoutar.eljaouhari50 on

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coherence and cohesion
There is logical flow in your essay but at times, you tend to stray off the main idea. To improve, ensure all your thoughts are directly linked to your main argument and avoid using phrases that are redundant.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a strong intro and conclusion which clearly outline the main argument and summarize the content. Keep up with this aspect; it is vital in presenting a well-organized essay.
task achievement
Your main points need to be supported by strong, relevant examples for better clarity and comprehension. Adding specific examples would result in stronger main points and create a more persuasive argument.
task achievement
While you have addressed all the parts of the task effectively and presented clear ideas, it is necessary to delve deeper into the topic to provide comprehensive arguments that are fully developed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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