In some parts of the world, people have become more focused on themselves than their communities. What problems can this situation cause and how can they be solved?

It can be seen that in the modern world, many
people
only care about their life ,and the number of
people
who focus on themselves have been increasing because of sociality change ,but fewer
people
are thinking about the community. I think that it has many reasons why they are just thinking about their own. So, I will discuss
this
in
this
essay and give ways to help with
this
problem.
To begin
with, the reasons of humans are selfish. first of all, the world
Add a missing verb
has change
show examples
change
Replace the word
changed
show examples
likes
Verb problem
apply
show examples
people
are more serious ,and
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task response
Make sure to clearly address all parts of the prompt and provide a complete response in order to score higher in the task achievement criterion.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a clear overall structure, make sure to have a more effective introduction and conclusion to enhance coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more complex and varied sentence structures to improve your score in the lexical resource criterion.
grammatical range
Work on improving the accuracy of your grammar and sentence formation to score higher in the grammatical range criterion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social isolation
  • Mental health issues
  • Community participation
  • Social cohesion
  • Civic pride
  • Volunteerism
  • Charitable contributions
  • Collective responsibility
  • Cultural heritage
  • Educational campaigns
  • Collective action
  • Tax deductions
  • Recognition programs
  • Mentorship
  • Community leadership
  • Intergenerational interactions
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