Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

It
is often argues
Change the verb form
is often argued
show examples
that
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
generation should spend their leisure
time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
non-profitable community services which is beneficial for their future
as well as
for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
According to
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In
show examples
my point of
view
Add a comma
view,
show examples
I believe engaging without earning something can
leads
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lead
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once
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to
show examples
life
Correct article usage
a life
show examples
for meaningful and it is
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
option for gaining some experience for future related
work
.
Firstly
, nowadays every nation
facing
Wrong verb form
faces
show examples
violence and other
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
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due to
not having proper
disciplines
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discipline
show examples
from the beginning.
Therefore
, engaging adolescents
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
non-profitable
Correct your spelling
non-profit
show examples
works like dog
shelter
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shelters
show examples
, elder homes,
charity
Correct word choice
and charity
show examples
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
can make them caring and
well
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apply
show examples
discipline
Correct your spelling
disciplined
show examples
persons. And they can learn how to interact with people and how to make society better for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
.
Secondly
, if the new generation
involve
Wrong verb form
is involved
show examples
with more
charity related
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charity-related
show examples
work
it will help to
reduced
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
waste
Replace the word
wasted
show examples
and they can
used
Change the verb form
use
show examples
their
time
for something valuable to increase their knowledge.
As
Change preposition
For
show examples
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
if they
work
in the library as volunteer, they can extract huge knowledge from that.
Also
, it helps to
low down
Wrong verb form
lower
show examples
the rate of bullying and drug usage because if,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers manage their
time
accurate
Change the word
accurately
show examples
they do not possess any
time
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
conduct any
violence related
Add a hyphen
violence-related
show examples
habits. In conclusion, adolescents
engage
Wrong verb form
engaging
show examples
in
non paid
Add a hyphen
non-paid
show examples
community service
work
from the beginning can lead the society for better.
Cause
Correct your spelling
Because of
show examples
time
management,
work related
Add a hyphen
work-related
show examples
experienced
Replace the word
experience
show examples
can
gain
Wrong verb form
be gained
show examples
from that .
Additionally
, it will help to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime, bullying
also
drug usage
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
the younger generation.
Submitted by ludmiladissanayake21 on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples and evidence.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity and accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
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