In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Some countries experiencing a climb in the average weight of their people
whereas
health and fitness are plummeting. In my opinion,
this
is because individuals living a busy lifestyle and the best solution for it is government have to provide courses about the importance of a
helthy
Correct your spelling
healthy
life. The main cause of
this
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
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is that people nowadays spend their time at the workplace, making it challenging for them to go to the gym after work.
Additionally
, the
hustle
Change the verb form
hustling
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lifestyle causes them to deliver fast food from online application which
make
Change the verb form
makes
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them rarely go for
walk
Correct article usage
a walk
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. One example of
this
would be in the US, where the rate of obesity is
in
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apply
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higher based on the American Department of Health and Human Services website. The fast food restaurant
there
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is the best place for them to do online delivery because they do not have to wait long when they have a short break. To solve those the government’s help is needed they have to hand-by-hand with medicalsocialized
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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to lead healthy lives. The consideration given will make them realize how harmless it is if the increase in the average weight
not
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does not
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stop.
Furthermore
, they have to make authority
such
as
give
Wrong verb form
giving
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free membership to fitness at least once a week
while
they can use in their free time.
For instance
, there is a website from the workers of the US that protests their hectic work makes less time to go gym;
however
leads them to expire the gym membership before it can be used. In conclusion,
although
there is a rise in the weight of individuals, the government should take part in it before citizens become overweight.
Submitted by heyyo on

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coherence cohesion
You should analyze the causes more deeply and provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Take time to develop a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion.
lexical resource
You need to use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
Work on your sentence structures and grammar to improve clarity and fluency.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • physical activity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • exercise
  • unhealthy diet
  • fast food
  • urbanization
  • modernization
  • stress
  • awareness
  • education
  • government intervention
  • policies
  • promotion
  • sports
  • fitness programs
  • health education
  • taxation
  • public transportation
  • infrastructure
  • parks
  • recreational spaces
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