In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

#countries #weight #people #levels #health #fitness #measures

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Some countries experiencing a climb in the average weight of their people

whereas

Linking Words

health and fitness are plummeting. In my opinion,

this

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is because individuals living a busy lifestyle and the best solution for it is government have to provide courses about the importance of a

helthy

Correct your spelling

healthy

life. The main cause of

this

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problems

Fix the agreement mistake

problem

show examples

is that people nowadays spend their time at the workplace, making it challenging for them to go to the gym after work.

Additionally

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, the

hustle

Change the verb form

hustling

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lifestyle causes them to deliver fast food from online application which

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

them rarely go for

walk

Correct article usage

a walk

show examples

. One example of

this

Linking Words

would be in the US, where the rate of obesity is

Change preposition

apply

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higher based on the American Department of Health and Human Services website. The fast food restaurant

there

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is the best place for them to do online delivery because they do not have to wait long when they have a short break. To solve those the government’s help is needed they have to hand-by-hand with medicalsocialized

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

to lead healthy lives. The consideration given will make them realize how harmless it is if the increase in the average weight

not

Add a missing verb

does not

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stop.

Furthermore

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, they have to make authority

such

Linking Words

give

Wrong verb form

giving

show examples

free membership to fitness at least once a week

while

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they can use in their free time.

For instance

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, there is a website from the workers of the US that protests their hectic work makes less time to go gym;

however

Linking Words

leads them to expire the gym membership before it can be used. In conclusion,

although

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there is a rise in the weight of individuals, the government should take part in it before citizens become overweight.

Submitted by heyyo on Sat Nov 04 2023

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coherence cohesion

You should analyze the causes more deeply and provide more specific examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Take time to develop a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion.

lexical resource

You need to use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.

grammatical range

Work on your sentence structures and grammar to improve clarity and fluency.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary
obesity
overweight
physical activity
sedentary lifestyle
exercise
unhealthy diet
fast food
urbanization
modernization
stress
awareness
education
government intervention
policies
promotion
sports
fitness programs
health education
taxation
public transportation
infrastructure
parks
recreational spaces

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In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In the future it may be necessary for us to live on other planets. For this reason, some people believe that we should spend money now researching planets that could be a possible home, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The growth of online shopping will lead to the day when all offline shops will disappear. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people believe that the government should spend money on helping undeveloped countries instead of spending money on increasing military strength, as they do not face risks of war.