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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table below shows social and economic indictators for four countries in 1994, according to United Nations Statistics.

The table below shows social and economic indictators for four countries in 1994, according to United Nations Statistics.
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Reference
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In reference
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 to United
Nations
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 Statistics, the table illustrates the part of society and economics in
four
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 different
nations
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 (
Canada
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,
Japan
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, Peru, and
Zaire
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) in the year 1994.
Overall
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,
Zaire
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 had the lowest figure compared to the remaining
nations
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 with
four
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 indicators. And It could be seen
the
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in the
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 development of
Canada
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 and
Japan
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.
Canada
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 and
Japan
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 accounted
to
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for
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 the highest parts in
four
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 aspects.
Japan
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 had the figures about average income,
life
Correct word choice
and life
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 expectancy which was higher than
Canada
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.
In addition
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,
Japan
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 was
the
Correct article usage
apply
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lower than
Canada
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 in the sector of daily calorie supply at
round
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around
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 300 per person
while
Linking Words
 in adult literacy rate was the same percentage between
Canada
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 and
Japan
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.
Another
Correct quantifier usage
Other
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 countries
was
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were
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 Peru and
Zaire
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 which accounted for
a
Correct article usage
apply
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lower figures than the remaining
nations
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. Peru was higher than
Zaire
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about
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by about
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four
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 indicators.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words nations, four, canada, japan, zaire with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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