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Band 7.5

In the future, it seems more difficult to live on Earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching another planet to live, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#future #earth #people #money #planet
Over time living on our planet will become more complicated. It is often said that the government should invest more money in the research of other planets for living. Personally, I think that the most important goal for humanity nowadays should be maintaining a good state of our
Earth
 so there will be no need to search for other planets to live on, at least in the near future.
However
, regarding the distant future, it would be better to spend some budget on space investigation. A good reason to try our best to keep
Earth
 in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good condition is that we have everything
that is
 required for living here: fresh water, temperature of the surface, appropriate land for growing food and a large amount of other resources. Mankind just should keep in mind that in order to have access to all of these in the future, it is vital to spend more money on projects that help to save our planet from disaster, on the grounds that it is much easier to clean the mess that humanity has been causing on
Earth
 for centuries, rather than look for other planets where we can move to.
On the other hand
, in the long term, it will be better to consider the fact that our world is not infinite and sooner or later humanity will have to move somewhere else.
Therefore
, investing more money in space research will be a wonderful choice. If we find another planet to live on, there will be no need to worry about our finite resources and other environmental problems.
To conclude
, I am of the opinion that spending the budget on maintaining the good condition of
Earth
 is a must.
Nevertheless
, it is vital to invest in space investigation as well.
Submitted by miaqu138 on

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task response
Make sure to clearly state your opinion and provide a balanced argument. Consider exploring the topic in more depth by discussing potential solutions to the challenges of living on Earth.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good logical structure and the ideas are well connected. However, try to use more transition words and phrases to improve the flow of your writing.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is generally appropriate and varied. To enhance your lexical resource, you can consider incorporating more academic vocabulary related to the topic.
grammatical range
Your grammar is accurate overall. Pay attention to verb tenses and ensure consistency throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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