The rise of social media platforms has made it easier for people to vent their frustrations and complaints publicly. What is the consequence of this trend? Is there any benefit to expressing complaints on social media?
People
have been faced with numerous differences in their lifestyles due to
the Increasing improvement in social media platforms, leading to worldwide perception of distinct national issues and thanks to the expression opportunity which serves people
with a better state of mentality.
To begin
with, nowadays individuals have hung on the habit of sharing their everyday lives on the internet. The majority of the information shared by them online is dedicated to the negative experiences they cope with. Complaining about personal and national issues has not only been beneficial for society's mental state but also
led to a worldwide comprehension of the conflicts which are being dealt with in a reserved society. As an example, in yesteryears when the sole tool of communication within nations was writing letters, a country suffering from the governments' tricks would nearly find the opportunity to get their voice reached to other nations, prior to asking them for some contribution.
Moreover
, people
have been benefiting from the development of online platforms as they are given the opportunity to express themselves in greater quantities. More specifically, isolated people
who interact with few individuals may find it hard to find a possibility to vent their frustrations. As a result
, social media has served people
with a great audience who may dedicate their ears all to those in favour of self-expression. Hence
, these reserved people
would have a greater sense of fulfilment. As an example, research conducted by a group of scientists at the University of California indicated that the depression rate in Britain has been exacerbated since the rising appearance of online platforms.
To conclude
, social media has established a novel experience for individuals which has resulted in a better image of different countries' issues and a greater mental state of societies.Submitted by bita.rezaei7052 on
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task response
Try to be more explicit when you express your ideas. Ensure that you properly address both sections of the task. Although you discussed both the consequences and benefits of expressing complaints on social media, you could have provided a more balanced discussion by clearly delimitating each part.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphing is logical and you made good use of cohesive devices. However, ensure that your arguments flow smoothly and effectively from one to the next. Your points are at times a bit hard to follow, so always make sure your writing is concise and clear.
lexical resource
You have a good lexical range, however, strive for precision in language usage. Some phrases are quite awkward and may not convey your intended meaning.
grammatical range
You generally use a wide range of complex structures. However, some of the sentences are long and complicated which can lead to grammatical errors and confusion. Aim for a mix of short, clear sentences and more complex ones for balance.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...