Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
A plethora of individuals believe that the finest way to upgrade the well-being of the population is by raising the total of buildings for physical activities.
On the other hand
, others think that other solutions would be better for this
problem. This
essay agrees with the latter statement.
Establishing a number
of sports spaces will result in an increase in the frequency of workouts for people who are already working out and thus
, it will improve their health, indeed. However
, in my opinion, it won't influence the number
of athletes, and this
approach has only a restricted advantage. For example
, in Chavdar, the village where I live, new football and basketball fields were erected last
year. Nevertheless
, this
didn't raise the number
of players, just made them train more often.
Other measures such
as promoting well-being and political encouragement of a healthy life could be more efficient. For instance
, supermarkets can give a discount on a certain type of healthy food every month, supported with governmental funding, which will bring two positive outcomes: better
diet and Correct article usage
a better
lower
cost of groceries. Another good idea is organizing free prevention in a Correct article usage
a lower
number
of medical areas in every city or village around the world, which will help the population discover potential risks of illnesses and diseases. To illustrate this
, five different types of doctors come to Chavdar every month to conduct free medical examinations and this
led to a 55% rise in heart-related problems .
In conclusion, I think that building new establishments for physical exercise can advance public health, but other approaches such
as advertising and prevention would have a bigger value.Submitted by delulcheva on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to express ideas more effectively.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammatical accuracy.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?