Currently, majority of people are willing to travel around the world to visit the sight seeying places because it is much more easier now as apposed to past. There are several benefits of tourism and there are outweigh the drawbacks.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A plethora of people travelling to the European countries to see the beautification of the world. The tourists are
travelled
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
to different places because of too many
tourism
Use synonyms
facilities available now.
However
Linking Words
, the question is
that
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
the benefits of
excursion
Add an article
the excursion
show examples
are higher than
demerits
Correct article usage
the demerits
show examples
or not
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
The following paragraphs
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
explain
further
Linking Words
. A large number of people are
making
Correct your spelling
taking
show examples
holidays
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
beautiful places because they
want
Add the particle
want to
show examples
feel
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxed
show examples
and enjoy
with
Correct pronoun usage
themselves with
show examples
their families.
Although
Linking Words
,
tourism
Use synonyms
offers great opportunities for emerging economies and developing countries.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, it creates
jobs
Change the noun form
job
show examples
opportunities and
strengths
Replace the word
strengthens
show examples
the local infrastructure development and can help conserve the natural resources and assets of the
country
Use synonyms
. To illustrate, in my
country
Use synonyms
the government has provided facilities
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourists and
promote
Wrong verb form
promoted
show examples
tourism
Use synonyms
and making money from it.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it
generates
Wrong verb form
will generate
show examples
19.5 billion dollars in 2021 to increase
GDP
Correct article usage
the GDP
show examples
rate. If the government give extra facilities for travellers
then
Linking Words
it would benefit
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the economy of the nation. One of the most notable benefits of
tourism
Use synonyms
is its ability to promote cultural exchange and understanding. Visitors to the
country
Use synonyms
are exposed to a rich and diverse cultural heritage, which helps to promote a greater understanding and appreciation of different cultures.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is possible to exchange cultures with different people and encourage their norms.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
tourism
Use synonyms
agencies
are
Change the verb form
are also motivated
show examples
also
Linking Words
motivates for travellers to visit their local sites so they give economy packages. In a nutshell, tourists are preferred to travel
stunning
Change preposition
to stunning
show examples
sceneries and feel good because it is much easier to go anywhere. In my point of view,
tourism
Use synonyms
has more advantages rather than disadvantages because it promotes the
country
Use synonyms
's local traditions and
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
economic growth.
Submitted by mobinadurrani43 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Include a strong thesis statement in the introduction and a concise summary in the conclusion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
lexical resource
Consider using a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your writing.
grammatical range
Pay closer attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity and accuracy.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sightseeing
  • majority
  • willing
  • easier
  • benefits
  • outweigh
  • drawbacks
  • boost
  • economy
  • job creation
  • cultural exchange
  • preservation
  • heritage
  • environmental impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: