Currently, majority of people are willing to travel around the world to visit the sight seeying places because it is much more easier now as apposed to past. There are several benefits of tourism and there are outweigh the drawbacks.

#majority #people #travel #world #visit #sight #places #tourism

A plethora of people travelling to the European countries to see the beautification of the world. The tourists are

travelled

Wrong verb form

travelling

show examples

to different places because of too many

tourism

facilities available now.

However

, the question is

that

Correct word choice

whether

show examples

the benefits of

excursion

Add an article

the excursion

show examples

are higher than

demerits

Correct article usage

the demerits

show examples

or not

Change the punctuation

show examples

The following paragraphs

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

explain

further

. A large number of people are

making

Correct your spelling

taking

show examples

holidays

for

Change preposition

show examples

beautiful places because they

want

Add the particle

want to

show examples

feel

relax

Wrong verb form

relaxed

show examples

and enjoy

with

Correct pronoun usage

themselves with

show examples

their families.

Although

tourism

offers great opportunities for emerging economies and developing countries.

Besides

this

, it creates

jobs

Change the noun form

job

show examples

opportunities and

strengths

Replace the word

strengthens

show examples

the local infrastructure development and can help conserve the natural resources and assets of the

country

. To illustrate, in my

country

the government has provided facilities

Change preposition

for

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

tourists and

promote

Wrong verb form

promoted

show examples

tourism

and making money from it.

Consequently

, it

generates

Wrong verb form

will generate

show examples

19.5 billion dollars in 2021 to increase

GDP

Correct article usage

the GDP

show examples

rate. If the government give extra facilities for travellers

then

it would benefit

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the economy of the nation. One of the most notable benefits of

tourism

is its ability to promote cultural exchange and understanding. Visitors to the

country

are exposed to a rich and diverse cultural heritage, which helps to promote a greater understanding and appreciation of different cultures.

Therefore

, it is possible to exchange cultures with different people and encourage their norms.

Furthermore

tourism

agencies

are

Change the verb form

are also motivated

show examples

also

motivates for travellers to visit their local sites so they give economy packages. In a nutshell, tourists are preferred to travel

stunning

Change preposition

to stunning

show examples

sceneries and feel good because it is much easier to go anywhere. In my point of view,

tourism

has more advantages rather than disadvantages because it promotes the

country

's local traditions and

increase

Change the verb form

increases

show examples

economic growth.

Submitted by mobinadurrani43 on Sat Nov 04 2023

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Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and supporting details.

coherence cohesion

Include a strong thesis statement in the introduction and a concise summary in the conclusion.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.

lexical resource

Consider using a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your writing.

grammatical range

Pay closer attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity and accuracy.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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11 Most Commonly Used English Expressions »

Topic Vocabulary:

sightseeing
majority
willing
easier
benefits
outweigh
drawbacks
boost
economy
job creation
cultural exchange
preservation
heritage
environmental impact

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Currently, majority of people are willing to travel around the world to visit the sight seeying places because it is much more easier now as apposed to past. There are several benefits of tourism and there are outweigh the drawbacks.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others.

Some countries have implemented mandatory community service programs for young people. In these programs, children aged 16 to 18 do charity work, help old people or work with animals. What are some advantages and disadvantages of this for young people?

Nowadays computer education is compulsory for learners in most schools. Do you think it is necessary or will children acquire these skills naturally from their day interaction with technology everywhere? Discuss both and give your opinion.