Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#sports #professionals #money #people #professions

Some public believe that the income from

sports

persons and those who look at sport as their job are acceptable and some

people

have the opposite view. I,

however

, side with the former view in

this

essay. On the one hand, some

people

argue that sportsmen and women have income more than others who work hard and it is fair.

Firstly

, it is completely obvious that sport could create more and more occupation for

people

For example

doctors

would work for themselves.

Secondly

people

mention that we would increase health in society and raise the quality of public life.

Furthermore

, we could demand mental health from

people

and

this

could have many benefits for communities around the world.

On the other hand

, there are opposite arguments between

people

and they mention unfair money between

sports

and work. Some

people

have the ability to specific

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

. To illustrate,

doctors

are not the same as those who are in the army.

in other words

doctors

rely on what they learn from theory, but a military person works with their physics. These occupations are something society wants but more and more

people

like these kinds of

jobs

. In my view, I imagine

sports

would create more

jobs

for

people

. They struggle with occupations and could cooperate with each other

such

doctors

and Accountants. Companies could advertise their brand in

sports

with sponsorship, and

this

could increase their benefit of selling products. In conclusion,

sports

can create

jobs

and increase both

people

health mental and physical,

while

people

work with their capabilities, society needs those who can solve their problems. I partly agree with fair money on

sports

, because of creates more

jobs

and cooperative

jobs

between

sports

and others.

Submitted by sr.alizadeh9191 on Sat Nov 04 2023

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task response

Make sure to address all parts of the question and provide a clear opinion.

coherence cohesion

Organize your ideas more coherently and use linking words to improve the overall flow of the essay.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary and use more precise and academic language to enhance your essay.

grammatical range

Pay attention to verb tenses and sentence structure to improve grammatical accuracy.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

287 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial remuneration
exceptional
merit
talent
demand
entertainment value
career span
physical demands
justified
unfair
criticism
income inequality
societal priorities
sportsmanship

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Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You recently completed a course and you borrowed a book from your teacher, which you couldn't return in time. You would like to return the book now. Write a lefter to your teacher and say What book was it How helpful was the book Explain why you couldn't return it in time.

Some say that students should not be exposed to teachers' opinions on social and political issues in the classroom. Others, however, think that it is helpful for students to hear various perspectives. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You recently travelled with a certain airline. Write a letter to the manager about your experience. Please say – Where and when did you travel? – What did you like or dislike? – What can you suggest for improvement?

Environmental problems are too big for individual countries or individual people to address. In other words,we have reached the stage where the only way to protect the environment is at an international level. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.