Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#sports #professionals #money #people #professions

Some public believe that the income from

sports

persons and those who look at sport as their job are acceptable and some

people

have the opposite view. I,

however

, side with the former view in

this

essay. On the one hand, some

people

argue that sportsmen and women have income more than others who work hard and it is fair.

Firstly

, it is completely obvious that sport could create more and more occupation for

people

For example

doctors

would work for themselves.

Secondly

people

mention that we would increase health in society and raise the quality of public life.

Furthermore

, we could demand mental health from

people

and

this

could have many benefits for communities around the world.

On the other hand

, there are opposite arguments between

people

and they mention unfair money between

sports

and work. Some

people

have the ability to specific

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

. To illustrate,

doctors

are not the same as those who are in the army.

in other words

doctors

rely on what they learn from theory, but a military person works with their physics. These occupations are something society wants but more and more

people

like these kinds of

jobs

. In my view, I imagine

sports

would create more

jobs

for

people

. They struggle with occupations and could cooperate with each other

such

doctors

and Accountants. Companies could advertise their brand in

sports

with sponsorship, and

this

could increase their benefit of selling products. In conclusion,

sports

can create

jobs

and increase both

people

health mental and physical,

while

people

work with their capabilities, society needs those who can solve their problems. I partly agree with fair money on

sports

, because of creates more

jobs

and cooperative

jobs

between

sports

and others.

Submitted by sr.alizadeh9191 on Sat Nov 04 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Make sure to address all parts of the question and provide a clear opinion.

coherence cohesion

Organize your ideas more coherently and use linking words to improve the overall flow of the essay.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary and use more precise and academic language to enhance your essay.

grammatical range

Pay attention to verb tenses and sentence structure to improve grammatical accuracy.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

287 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

financial remuneration
exceptional
merit
talent
demand
entertainment value
career span
physical demands
justified
unfair
criticism
income inequality
societal priorities
sportsmanship

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
you recently did a short cookery course. The cookery school asked for your feedback to this course. write a letter to the course director at the cookery school. describe what you enjoyed about the course. say how much cooking you've done since the course. suggest another cookery course you'd like the school to offer.
My name is parth patel and In this letter I will Inform to you that I recently joined cooking course in your school. I love cooking in my house and other location. Also I have heard the nme of your school a lot. That's way I joined your class.
5.5
band
Development in technology causes environmental problems. Some people believe the solution to these problems is everyone accepts a simpler way of life, while others say that technology can solve these problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
In the contemporary era, the climate has been issued by technical gadgets. It is believed by a few individuals to resolve the problem without technology. However, other is reckoned by a large group of people to get solution through technology. Climate change are affected by high-tech devices. This essay will elaborate on both perspectives in the following paragraphs.
6
band
In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think it is a positive or negative development ?
It is a common view in many nations that it is much better to own a house rather than to rent one. In this essay, I will look into this matter and will share why I think that this is a positive tendency.
5.5
band
Some feel that movies and tv shows are a good way to study history despite their lack of historical accuracy at times. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, mass media is coming forward with a number of shows related to our historical events. Many people find it a good way to learn history even though the information given may not be completely accurate. I partially agree with this viewpoint and will elaborate on the reasons for the stance in upcoming paragraphs.
6
band
Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (foe example, though cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweight the disadvantages?
Emerging technology has impacted human lives in such a manner that people most of the time are not aware that whatever they are performing is being monitored through security cameras or even being recorded and tracked by cell phones. I will discuss both the positive and negative sides in the upcoming paragraphs.

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think it is a positive or negative development ?

Some feel that movies and tv shows are a good way to study history despite their lack of historical accuracy at times. To what extent do you agree or disagree?