IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

On a recent holiday you lost a valuable item. Fortunately you have travel insurance to cover the cost of anything lost. •describe the item you lost •explain how you lost it •tell the insurance company what you would like them to do

#holiday #item #travel #insurance #cost #•describe #•explain #•tell #company
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to ask you to pay the insurance for what I lost. I went on a trip to Thailand and stayed in a hotel there. The place was very big and comfortable. The game seemed interesting to me as it was a game to win money and I played it. I won ten thousand dollars in
this
 game. In Thailand, I went to the beach and shopped in various stores. My two-day trip is over and I am back home. When I got home, I noticed that my ring was missing.
This
 ring means a lot to me.
This
 is a diamond eye ring, very bright and very expensive.
This
 gift was given to me by my boyfriend on my birthday. So, my ring got lost during spending time
in
Change preposition
on
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 a holiday. I went to many places
in
Change preposition
apply
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such
 as nightclubs, a dining-room and gaming houses. All these places are located inside the hotel.
Then
 I called the hotel manager and told him that my item was missing. I am asking the insurance to pay for my lost item. Hope you get the job done very soon. But I want to say that the guest service is very good and I am happy with them. I wish you success in your work. Yours sincerely Nigina
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure your essay directly addresses all three points of the prompt: describing the item in detail, explaining how you lost it specifically, and clearly stating what you would like the insurance company to do. Adding specific details and a clearer explanation would greatly benefit your essay.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on structuring your essay more logically. Start with an introduction that sets the context, follow with body paragraphs that each address a specific point (describe the item, explain the loss, and state your request), and conclude with a brief summary or final statement. Using transitional phrases can also help improve the flow of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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