People nowadays work hard to buy more things.This has made our life more comfortable but it is a pity many traditional values have been lost on the way to such materialism. To what extend do you agree or disagree with the statement?

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Today's world has become more materialistic than ever before, as there is no limit to one's wants and desires. To achieve a luxurious lifestyle and to exhibit it, the public generally loses their connection with the culture and traditions. I completely stand in favour of the notion.
To begin
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with, the predominant factor among all is the money mindset. To put simply, one feels outdated and fears to lose its social identity if he/she does not own the latest gadgets or clothes when compared with their peers. In the lust for more green pasture, often it's seen that society leaves no stone unturned
while
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choosing for the unethical ways. A recent survey concluded by the University of Cambridge showed that the younger generation has more cunning behaviour as compared to their elders.
Hence
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, hampering traditional and moral values.
In addition
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to
this
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, culture and traditions are rooted in the social framework to maintain the relationships within which is of great importance.
However
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, certain communities want to assert their individuality and superiority with their buying powers, narrowing down the gap of respect and tolerance towards each other.
Thus
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, as social structure collapses, the underlying traditions take up the pressure of breaking. In conclusion, to satiate one's ever-growing wishes, it's inevitable for folk to compromise on their ethics and principles.
Furthermore
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, bragging about their materialistic things when combined with ever-increasing purchasing powers, adds more fuel to the fire.
Submitted by ronak.sharma2209 on

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task response
Make sure to fully address all aspects of the question in your response. Consider discussing the impact of materialism on traditional values from different perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical flow of ideas throughout your essay. Use transitional words and phrases to link your paragraphs and ideas together.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and effectively.
grammatical range
Pay attention to your sentence structure and usage of grammar. Aim for more complex sentence structures and eliminate any errors.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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