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Band 3

Professional athletes in popular sports such as football and basketball are paid millions of dollars. Some people believe this is unfair, especially since other professions, such as nurses and primary teachers are paid such low salaries. To what extent do you agree that professional athletes are overpaid？

#athletes #sports #football #basketball #millions #dollars #people #professions #nurses #teachers #salaries #overpaid？
The
people
 on the earth are even ready to die for the athletes who are popular in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sport like football and basketball, the student at the age between 18 to 19
year's
Change the noun form
years
year
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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more
attraced
Correct your spelling
attracted
 to these things. I strongly agree that
professionly
Correct your spelling
professionally
professionals
 are overpaid . On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 the
sport's
Change noun form
sports
show examples
pearson
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 been
over paid
Correct your spelling
overpaid
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,they are overpaid only
becase
Correct your spelling
because
 of the
people
 .
People
 would blindly accept the
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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they say without asking any doubt or question .The other
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
 is
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
people
 are ready to buy the ticket even
the
Correct word choice
if the
show examples
 price of the
ticket's
Correct your spelling
ticket is
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lakh's
Change noun form
lakhs
show examples
,when
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 favorite
star
Fix the agreement mistake
stars
show examples
 are playing the game. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
professionals like
nurce
Correct your spelling
nurse
nurses
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
primary
teacher's
Change noun form
teachers
show examples
 are paid the least amount of salaries. The primary teachers are the
pearson
Correct your spelling
person
 who teach us the basic
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 which we need in our
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
 life, we don't look at them we look at the
pearson
Correct your spelling
person
 who does not even know our name .
While
Correct word choice
When
show examples
 we are
admited
Correct your spelling
admitted
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
show examples
 the doctor just would come and
vist
Correct your spelling
visits
 the patient only once or in the case of
emergency
Correct article usage
an emergency
show examples
, but
nurse
Fix the agreement mistake
nurses
show examples
 are the
pearson
 who look
us
Change preposition
after us
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
24 hours a day . I conclude my speech by just
informing
Verb problem
saying
show examples
 that everyone should be treated and paid for the work they do. We are not paying for the
pearson
Correct your spelling
people
 who look at us but we pay
lakh
Fix the agreement mistake
lakhs
show examples
 of amount to see the
people
 who don't even know our name.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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task response
Focus on answering the question directly and providing a clear position.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a logical manner and ensure all main points are supported.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more precise and varied words and phrases.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structures and grammar to improve clarity and accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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