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Band 7

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people
It is sometimes argued whether
products
 which contain
sugar
 should be more expensive to limit
people
's ability to buy
such
 carbohydrate
products
 or not. I completely disagree with
this
 statement for several reasons which will be discussed in the following essay. Many ready meals and drinks contain high amount of
sugar
 which lead to all
kinds
 of diseases and health issues.
Firstly
,
according to
 medical advice and proof,
sugar
 is one of the worst cooking ingredients which causes a variety of health problems.
For instance
, consumers who receive large amounts of
sugar
 per week are at high risk of type A or B diabetes which can cause lots of difficulties for them
such
 as blindness.
Secondly
, having
sugar
 more than average in an individual's diet will lead to liver problems and
also
 it is well-known that the liver has a direct effect on skin conditions.
For example
, the worst
kinds
 of acne can occur on the skin and face of a person which can decrease his/her self-confidence.
Finally
, obesity is one of the biggest issues which can bother humans
due to
 the high consumption of
sugar
. It is sometimes believed that by increasing the price of sugary
products
,
people
 will not be able to overeat these
kinds
 of foods and drinks. It seems to me a wrong decision because
people
 should be well-informed and recognise which
kinds
 of food are better for their bodies with regard to their nutritional values.
Also
, they have to know that each action has consequences so they have to take responsibility for what they did.
Furthermore
, whenever
people
 have limited access to something they will make every effort to catch it.
Nevertheless
, increasing the price of
products
 with a large proportion of
sugar
 not only can not encourage them to stop consuming
sugar
 but
also
 can push them to buy more
such
products
 before becoming expensive again, so it will have the opposite results. In conclusion, manufactured food and drinks with lots of artificial sweets are not good for human health condition but I do not believe in making
sugar
products
 more and more expensive in order to lessen peoples' ability to pay for them.
Submitted by z.rajabi on

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task response
Make sure to fully address the prompt by presenting a clear opinion and supporting it throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear structural organization of ideas by using appropriate linking words and phrases.
lexical resource
Enhance the range and variety of vocabulary used by incorporating more academic and descriptive terms.
grammatical range
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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