IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Large Companies Should Pay Higher Salaries To Ceos And Executives Compared To Other Workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#companies #salaries #ceos #executives #workers
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With the escalating demand for high-qualification workers worldwide, whether or not to pay high salaries to keep professionals in big organizations has become a widely debated topic.
While
 many
people
 believe that high income should be offered to senior one, like CEOs and executives, others maintain they should do the same for normal staff.
This
 essay will delve into factors contributing to
this
 phenomenon, ultimately contending that there is considerable merit in paying more to the top-level staff.   To start with, it is essential to recruit someone who has the experience and technique to run a large company, and
this
 person must not be easily replaced. A flawless illustration is that there were lots of senior
people
 being recruited to companies in China during the
90s
Correct your spelling
'90s
, since there was a lack of qualified
people
 with
such
 experience in China at that time, especially in hotels and estate management, the
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
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 used higher wages to attract
people
 to work in mainland.
Therefore
,
people
 with special skills could share their experiences with others.  
In contrast
, it is undeniable that it may not be fair enough to pay less to lower-level workers since they normally work harder and longer than those CEOs.
However
, the workers
do
Verb problem
are
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 not
require
Wrong verb form
required
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 to make a big decision that can influence the whole company,
thus
 they should be under relatively less pressure.
Also
, if a worker resigns, he or she is usually replaced quickly and should not affect the firm.  
To conclude
, executives and CEOs not only possess unique abilities and experiences but
also
 the pressure they should
be faced
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
 to make any critical decisions that normal staff is not necessary to duel with. I hold a fervent belief that extra money ought to be paid to them.
Submitted by hopercyhp on

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task response
Your essay addresses the topic, but some arguments lack coherence and could be further developed.
coherence cohesion
Overall, the essay has good coherence and cohesion. However, you could improve the logical structure of your arguments.
lexical resource
Your vocabulary is appropriate, but you could use more varied and precise language to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
Your grammar is generally accurate, but there are some errors that could be corrected to improve your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • executive compensation
  • income disparity
  • corporate governance
  • incentive structures
  • ethical considerations
  • competitive advantage
  • demotivation
  • pay structures
  • social inequality
  • talent acquisition
  • company culture
  • economic impact
  • leadership roles
  • employee morale
What to do next:
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