IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, the production of consumer goods results in more and more harmful to the environment than ever.
This
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 damage is
due to
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 the high levels of consumption and the use of certain kinds of
energy
Use synonyms
,
such
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 as petroleum and coal. In the modern world, people are induced, by advertisements, to buy things that they do not need. Actually, we buy more products than
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is really necessary to survive or get a comfortable life.
This
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 behaviour generates high demand for some types of products like mobile phones, cars, clothes, and electronic gadgets,
for example
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, which generate high levels of garbage, when it is disposable.
Moreover
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, the production of these goods results in
several
Correct your spelling
severe
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 damage to nature because they need huge amounts of
energy
Use synonyms
. Quite often,
this
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energy
Use synonyms
 is generated by sources which increase the pollution and contamination of rivers, oceans, and air.
As a result
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,
this
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 pollution can kill many species of plants and animals. To solve
this
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 problem, the government and public authorities worldwide should control and restrict the use of some sorts of
energy
Use synonyms
, stimulating the use of renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 sources,
such
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 as solar, wind and biofuel.
Furthermore
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, all nations should make stricter laws and inspect compliance, applying fines to the companies and countries that fail to comply. Another action that could be done, is to promote the reusable of products and changes in consumption patterns. In conclusion, the production of consumer goods at elevated levels is very harmful to life on the planet. Several actions can be taken to avoid or at least minimize
this
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 problem, especially changing the standard of consumption and choosing new sources of
energy
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Your essay adequately addresses the provided task. You discuss the causes of environmental damage resulting from the production of consumer goods and propose possible solutions. However, you could have provided more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. You introduce your topic by discussing the negative impact of the production of consumer goods on the environment, and you conclude by summarizing your main points and emphasizing the importance of changing consumption patterns and energy sources.
lexical resource
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with a variety of words and phrases used to express your ideas. However, you could incorporate more academic vocabulary and terminology to enhance the sophistication of your writing.
grammatical range
Your essay contains mostly accurate grammar and sentence structures. However, there are a few minor errors in verb tenses and word order. Make sure to proofread your essay carefully to eliminate these errors.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • production
  • consumer goods
  • natural environment
  • damage
  • causes
  • overconsumption
  • demand
  • environmental regulations
  • enforcement
  • natural resources
  • industrial pollution
  • waste
  • inadequate
  • waste management practices
  • public awareness
  • education
  • sustainable alternatives
  • stricter environmental laws
  • recycling
  • responsible consumption
  • clean technologies
  • renewable energy
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