Museums and art galleries should concentrate on works that show history and culture of their own country rather than works of the other parts in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#museums #art #galleries #works #show #history #culture #country #parts #world

this

modern technological era, museums and

art

galleries are one of the best tourist

attracion

Correct your spelling

attraction

attractions

for any

nations

Fix the agreement mistake

nation

show examples

, Numbers of individuals

believed

Wrong verb form

believe

show examples

that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

every

nation

should have to represent their own

art

and

history

works as present their own tradition

Change preposition

show examples

contrast

Add an article

a contrast

show examples

from

Change preposition

show examples

other area

Change the wording

another area

other areas

show examples

of the

globle

Correct your spelling

globe

global

. If asked,

Change the capitalization

show examples

partially disagree with

this

statement. My inclination will be given in ensuring

Correct article usage

the peragraph

show examples

peragraph

Correct your spelling

paragraph

. On the one hand, it is true that every

nation

should display works of

art

and

history

from their own country to promote and preserve their national heritage.

Exibition

Correct your spelling

Exhibition

art

and

history

are help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

to continue

carried

Wrong verb form

carrying

show examples

out

thetradition

Correct your spelling

the tradition

and maintain the own

country

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country's

show examples

diversity.

As well as

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

types of collections help to pass on

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show examples

a future generation. Even,

new

Correct article usage

the new

show examples

generation

have

Add a missing verb

does have

show examples

not enough time to gain knowledge regarding culture.

While

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apply

show examples

it is the easy way to continue

forword

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forward

the cultural diversity and

globle

Correct your spelling

global

understanding. As an example,

national

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the national

show examples

museum in

baroda

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Baroda

show examples

gujarat

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Gujarat

show examples

india

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India

show examples

is provide

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provides

show examples

wide

Add an article

a wide

show examples

variety of information regarding

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

free

india

Change the capitalization

India

show examples

. On the other side, displaying foreign artworks and historical

exibits

Correct your spelling

exhibits

can encourage tourism and attract a wider range of visitors.

Moreover

this

is very helpful for participating in

rising

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raising

show examples

the economy of

individual

Add an article

an individual

the individual

show examples

country.

Besides

, all

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

, are not able to

travell

Correct your spelling

travel

every where

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everywhere

show examples

, so

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

art

and historical

exibitions

Correct your spelling

exhibition

provided

Wrong verb form

provide

show examples

wide

Add an article

a wide

show examples

range of knowledge for local people.

For instance

doll

Correct article usage

the doll

show examples

museum in

rajkot

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Rajkot

show examples

india

Change the capitalization

India

show examples

provided

Wrong verb form

provides

show examples

Correct article usage

a varites

show examples

varites

Correct your spelling

variety

of dolls from different countries. In conclusion,

collection

Correct article usage

a collection

show examples

of different

art

and

history

exibition

Correct your spelling

exhibition

are

Change the verb form

show examples

very important for both individual

as well as

nation

Correct article usage

the nation

show examples

. A balance between

showcasting

Correct your spelling

showcasing

national heritage and international artworks can be beneficial in providing a comprehensive learning experience

as well as

helful

Correct your spelling

helpful

economic

Add an article

the economic

show examples

stability of

nation

Add an article

the nation

a nation

show examples

Submitted by sanganiankita2023 on Sun Nov 05 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph clearly presents one main idea and supports it with relevant examples or explanations.

coherence cohesion

Provide a more detailed explanation of your opinion in the introduction and conclusion.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas.

grammatical range

Pay closer attention to sentence structure and grammar.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
57Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Museums and art galleries should concentrate on works that show history and culture of their own country rather than works of the other parts in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

People aim to achieve a balance between their work and lives, but few people achieve it. What are the causes of this problem? How to overcome it?

Nowadays more people are choosing to live with their friends or alone rather than with their families, this trend is likely to have a negative impact on community. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary prodducts should be made more expensive to encourage prople to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries ,children are becoming overweight and unhealthy.some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do u agree or disagree