A great number of people think that those with university education should get higher pay that those without, for they believe that the former have sweated and sacrificed more. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
A substantial number of
people
argue that those who have tertiary education
should earn more than those who have not,
because they have sacrificed more time, Remove the comma
apply
money
and Correct word choice
and money
has
done Correct subject-verb agreement
have
a really hard work
. From my point of view, those with the diploma should be well-paid Remove the article
really hard work
a really hard job
due to
the efforts they have made. However
, some people
could have gone through a lot of trouble in order to get a higher-paid job without having university
Add an article
a university
education
.
On the one hand, a good reason to make higher salaries for people
with tertiary education
is that they must have been studying for a long period of time to get the diploma. Whereas
people
without it, simply tried to avoid spending couple
of years in the Change the article
a couple
university
. On the ground that they often think that getting degree
is not worth it and it is much easier to make money even without it. Add an article
a degree
In addition
, students with higher education
spent
a great deal of money on it. Wrong verb form
spend
Therefore
, their contribution can not be ignored and has to be paid back by the government in the future.
On the other hand
, people
without tertiary education
could have overcome many obstacles in order to earn more. It often happens that gifted, but underprivileged young man
and women can not afford Fix the agreement mistake
men
university
Add an article
a university
education
, but they wish they could. Thus
, those people
try their best to achieve something without it. The efforts they have made have to be rewarded by a good salary, at least. Another point to consider is that their knowledge and experience in the field can be much better then
Replace the word
than
of
those with tertiary Change preposition
apply
education
. This
is owing to the practical skills which they possess and former university
students usually do not due to
the academic way of teaching there.
To conclude
, I am of the opinion that people
both with
tertiary Correct pronoun usage
those with
education
and without
should earn equally. Their salary should depend on Correct determiner usage
those without
the
knowledge and ability to do the work properly.Change the word
their
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task response
Ensure that your response fully addresses all aspects of the task prompt. You should clearly state your position and provide supporting points for both sides if necessary.
coherence cohesion
Focus on creating clear and cohesive paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that all sentences within the paragraph support and relate to the main idea.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary by using a wider variety of words and phrases. Try to avoid repetitive language and find more precise and specific words to convey your ideas.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar usage. Vary your sentence structures to display a higher level of grammatical range and accuracy.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.