IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. Do you agree or disagree?

Having a veggie
foodstuff
Check wording
food
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 lifestyle is a controversial debate subject, with
advocating
Replace the word
advocates
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 for non-veg as an optimal
one
Use synonyms
. A number of people believe that humanity
does
Verb problem
apply
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not ought
Correct word order
ought not
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 to eat
meat
Use synonyms
 in meals to be healthy. I firmly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
Linking Words
, having only
one
Use synonyms
 type of consumption might not be a sensible option for everyone because of the variety of traditions. Put simply, there are a plethora of traditions or beliefs in the world
while
Linking Words
 taking the number of countries into account.
For example
Linking Words
, there is a Sacrifice Day in
Correct article usage
the Islam
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Islam
Replace the word
Islamic
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 religion that has been celebrated for 1400 years, and sacrificing sheep or cows to give charity is a well-known phenomenon all over the world.
Hence
Linking Words
, being a vegetarian is a hardship for Muslims, which is a must to acknowledge the situation.
Secondly
Linking Words
, dishes that consist of only vegetables can not be a great source to
equalize
Use the right word
equalise
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 your carbohydrate and protein balance. What is more, people whose vocation is fitness need to have more than five thousand calories per day
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 admittedly, these types of foods can not supply them.
For instance
Linking Words
, if you need to have
one
Use synonyms
 thousand calories, you should eat
one
Use synonyms
 kilogram of cucumbers or just
one
Use synonyms
 hundred grams of
meat
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, despite concerns about eating
meat
Use synonyms
 for a healthy diet, the benefits of
meat
Use synonyms
 are more substantial than we expect, which outstrips the drawbacks that are about being
healthy
Use the right word
unhealthy
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. In actuality, everyone can mix vegetables and
meat
Use synonyms
 to
vanish
Verb problem
overcome health
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 ailments about health to be unanimous in
this
Linking Words
 situation.

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task response
Be clear from the start. Say your view in one line, then give your reasons. Each paragraph should hold one main idea that links to the view. Use facts or small examples that connect to your reason.
coherence
Make the essay feel smooth. Start each paragraph with a line that says what the paragraph is about. Use simple words to show how ideas go from one to the next. End with a short finish that repeats your view.
content
The writer shows a definite view and keeps to it.
content
There are real examples from life and religion used as support.
structure
There are good linking words like first, second, to conclude.
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