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Band 8

In many countries, the number of animals and plant declining? Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved

#countries #animals #plant
Nowadays, a high amount of flora and fauna has a greater risk of extinct. I think increasing global temperature and decreasing animal habitats may be the causes for that. It will be solved by taking interventions to reduce
carbon
 emissions and imposing laws and legislations.
This
 essay will explain the above reasons
further
.
Firstly
, more factors that influence the living organisms decline. The most detrimental factor is global warming, which has rocketed for decades.
Therefore
, not only sensitive animals but
also
 plants are in a tragic situation.
For instance
, a newspaper reported that a specific group of butterflies died because of the heat waves in Europe in the
last
 months.
As well as
 habitats are being cut down drastically. A plethora of rainforests are rich in biodiversity. If
people
 diminish those vulnerable landscapes, more trees and animals will have to leave their lives. So, those factors affect animal and plant existence.
Secondly
, governments and private institutions should give more attention to securing the planet. Decreasing
carbon
 emissions is vital for reducing the risk of animal decline.
People
 must limit industrial and motor vehicle
carbon
 burns. Some authorities restrict
carbon
 emissions in locations where few inherited species are protected.
Moreover
, the government has to impose rules and regulations to limit deforestation, and give prison sentences or charge large sums of money for those who neglect the laws, because multinational companies have been cutting forests where animals live.
Finally
,
people
 may be aware of eco-anxiety and take necessary precautions to prevent danger. In conclusion,
although
people
 are changing the earth, they destroy other environmental partners' rights to live knowingly or unknowingly,
therefore
 taking safety precautions to prevent animal and plant extinction may secure their future.
Submitted by thiqut on

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coherence and cohesion
The essay as a whole is logically structured with a clear introduction, body and conclusion. However, the transition between some ideas could be more explicit to better guide the reader through your points.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-written and effectively encapsulate the main points of the essay. Keep up the good work.
task achievement
All main points are supported with relevant examples and details. However, some ideas could be elaborated more for better clarity.
task achievement
The essay generally responds to the task, but it could offer more specific solutions to the problem. The solutions provided are not clearly explained and lack details on how they would be implemented or their potential effects.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • endangered species
  • habitat destruction
  • global warming
  • carbon emissions
  • pollutants
  • poaching
  • invasive species
  • deforestation
  • overexploitation
  • urban sprawl
  • sustainable development
  • conservation
  • awareness campaigns
  • environmental education
  • legislation
  • protected areas
  • wildlife reserves
  • reintroduction programs
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